BEFORE I SAY THIS: YOU FUCKS HAD BETTER READ ALL OF THE FEEDBACK, AND FOLLOW IT. IM TIRED OF GIVING GOOD FEEDBACK THATS IGNORED.

B.I. detained, or whoever did the first verse:
playing off of aisles name is just that, played. its not really interesting to read anymore. didnt earn you any points by including anything about aisles as in grocery aisles... another tip, dont just state facts.. stating facts about your opponent is basically filler. make it into a dope punchline.

Second verse:
that structure is getting old. put everything on the same line.. unless it "needs" the drama that comes from having to wait longer to read the next line. having that style without any good punches is a big dissapointment.. why? because being ready for a punch in the next line, and that it not coming, after the extra wait is no fun to read. .

Aisle: Don't ever come played like that again. you are a vet. played: "to say the least". played: anything 9/11 ish. It would be different if you hadnt heard lines including "to say the least" 500 times... but we all know you have. no big deal as youd have won this anyway. The pretty damn ugly line was ok, and the tornado line was ok..nuthin spectacular...stop half assin it.

Emerge: Your style is extremely hard to read. you should form your lines in one sentence, or at least one string of ideas. And stop making one of your lines ten times as long as the other, it greatly interrupts the flow. When i reread your lines just now, and ignored the horrible structure and just looked at the punch part (for those which had punches), they actually seemed half decent, a few good ones. if you reform your structure and even out your lines, you will be much better.


V/ aisle & Emerge.