Only your first topical? Well I'm very pleasantly surprised in fact!

First of all, I liked the approach you used to this topic...it may not be the most original one but it's an interesting twist to it nonetheless. I enjoyed how you divided the piece into those two chapters, it was sort of a built-up that brought suspense to it. The imagery was definitely there, I could picture every scene of your story inside my mind throughout the vivid words you used. But the emotion was the strongest aspect in my opinion, I love how the person asked all these questions about his situation and such. It really let the readers know what goes on inside the person's mind and such you know.

Definitely keep writing, this was nice!

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