Opening Act:
Hello everybody, glad to see you out in this storm,
Seems like outside is freezing, it's only February but let's make it a little warm!
*Flicks wrist* Haha there, now it's 75 degrees in the middle of snow,
Glad to see you all are enjoying yourself already at the beginning of my show.
Wo, was that Jesus, or am I just seeing an illusion?
Keep spreading my doctrine son, whether it's populated or urban!
You know I got this letter the other day, message kind of hurt me,
It said, 'I used to believe in you God, but now I suffer, why did they convert me?'
So you know what I did? I made a little letter in return for his question,
Everyone left him so I was alone with him, guess he didn't catch my intervention.
Even with technology and email somehow spam infiltrates my computer,
Usually just a joke saying, 'God I can't take her anymore, I'm gonna shoot her!'
Just asking for help but I just shrug it off, nother person trying to see me,
I mean, why would some guy go and kill a girl because to him she is sexy?
I'm on my computer all day, call me a nerd if you wish,
But remember those "natural disasters?" ya even God has a hit list.
I see your faces are drooping, the smiles are kind of fading,
Wait! Don't give up yet, listen to this joke it's amazing!
So a guy walks into a bar right? And orders a drop of vodka,
I think, alright, another night of fun and maybe a little bit of trauma.
The dude orders more and more, till he can't walk home without a concussion,
So I get this chick to go up to him and show a good old session.
Well, here's the funny part, the chick, ya she has this disease,
that will end up making you so weak you wouldn't be able to reach your knees!
What's wrong, do none of you find that in the least bit funny?
Well guess what? You all just lost half your life, possessions, and money!

Closing Act:
Well my friends, slaves, everyone listening at home,
I think you better call your family, friends, and get em on the phone.
Cuz you last minutes together, will be your only memory of joy,
You know that crush you girls have on your sunday paperboy?
Well you better go tell him, cuz the final curtain is about to fall,
This wall between the worlds is disappearing, and time for the call,
But before this time ends, think of all the time you wasted at the mall.
Or the house, or your room, or someplace where you just killed time,
Remember when you made fun of that white boy who tried to write rhymes?
Cuz his lines were bad, and you figured he would never amount to fame?
That his lyrics were about nothing and like all of mainstream he was the same?
Or that girl who starved herself because you said she needed to lose weight?
That in order for her to be happy, she needed to weigh 90 pounds on the date?
Or what about that nerd, who was just trying to get along with everyone,
But had a bloody nose, and whipped out a gun before the year was done?
Think how you lived your life and how strong your vine is to me,
No more happy faces? Haha, geuss you all didn't catch the divine comedy.