in your system
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IP:
ahhh, this was a close battle.....both, i've seen better, but still not a bad battle
given....i thought you were weak at the start, you had a good idea, i was feeling the intro, great imagery, emotion....but then the middle of your piece wasnt as consistent and i felt you kinda wavered a little, but you picked up again in your last verse, which is what separated you two....i was feeling alot, you had the right amount of vocab which is good, your metaphors really drew nice images to go by, and i thought that was your strongest point....emotion, coulda been better, but still was decent
mista....i thought your approach was too obvious, and i didn't like how you worded alot of your lines, which is what really turned me off from your piece.....you had better emotion, but alot of lines, your vocab kinda ruined your imagery, like repeating words too much kinda weakens your piece....but still not a bad drop
you both had good structure and flow, emotion was about the same....just i felt given's had more imagery and just appealed to me more.....so, my vote goes to...
v/given light
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