OK, basically, it was good.

The premise of it was pretty played, but as a whole, the thing was well written. Especially the last line. It had all it needed, but it was lacking heart. Sure, it's a fairly convincing rendition of a suicidal persona, but it came across to me as put on. If you are gonna use a persona, you should try to make it as real as possible. You thought about what it would be like to be this dude, but you didn't actually get into the guys shoes and portray his feelings properly.

I could be wrong, and I probably am... Its not like im a good poet. Thats just the kind of vibe I got from it. -_-

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