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View Poll Results: Who won this battle? | |||
precize | 1 | 50.00% | |
Zais | 1 | 50.00% | |
Voters: 2. You may not vote on this poll |
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04-22-06, 10:47 PM | #1 | |
~Lyrical Nirvana~
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precize Vs. Zais
IP: 27E9 2A04
~Rules~ Topic: "My children's children" Line limit: 20-50(negotiate in checkin) Check in by: Monday 11:59pm Drop by: Wednesday 11:59pm Votes due by: Friday 11:59pm Werd!
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Last edited by Billy Baghdad : 04-22-06 at 11:10 PM. |
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04-23-06, 06:02 AM | #2 |
New to RV
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IP: F264 E971
I dont know my bars yet so tell me how many u wanna do
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04-23-06, 09:17 AM | #3 | |
Flyweight
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IP: F2FD E4B5
check check...........................30 sound good?
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04-23-06, 04:44 PM | #4 |
New to RV
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IP: F264 E971
30 it is G'luck
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04-24-06, 06:43 PM | #5 | |
Flyweight
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IP: 7938 8797
heres 24 lines..i wasnt feelin this topic much
assembled a time machine with my worn-in bare hands... i open the door, in the middle is where the chair stands.. then i say a prayer and...off i go into the distant future.. only 13, i wanna see if i have kids..and if my childrens losers.. arrived into the future..40 sumthin years from now.. people see me appear out of nowhere, they wonder why i came here and how.. the crowded streets are made of metal with white lines... looked up n saw a Ad for antique iPods...layed out on a bright sign.. all the lights left my eyes blind.. the screen on my watch revealed wat year it was with a timeline.. hungry, so i walk into a mcdonalds...a robot comes to take my order.. requiring tips, slots on their chest show their to be paid with quarters.. same good food, faster thou...the wait is shorter.. finish eatin...and decide to go look for what ive came to see.. but then a man walks in with a tag on his shirt..he has the same last name as me.. i feel the birthmark on my face..he has identical scars on his frame.. are facial features are the same..throwing something in the trash, he starts to aim..but misses, and the napkin drops right by my feet.. are eyes meet..i break the ice and say im you, from the past.. he laughs and replys with..yo man thats a ton of trash.. then the earth starts to crack and shack..i didnt know what to do at first ive tampered with the future, scientists warned me it could affect the entire universe.. all of a sudden the mickey dees start to cave in.. and then............ |
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04-26-06, 01:36 PM | #6 |
New to RV
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IP: F264 E971
My children's children
I placed my faith and hope in my legacy praid they wouldnt inherit my sick insanity but my wishes reached a so it seems deaf ear or maybe life enjoys giving you what you fear for years and years I had to hide my ill will I enjoyed painfull tears and had a urge to kill but never did I indulge in that sick a fantasy I stayed put in a place my mind called sanity but my seed ... he also had this curse compared to mine his was worse downloading snuff movies and torture clips eventho I said no every night I sat and hoped he would just download porno tortured our dog ... burned his entire antfarm his eyes reflected murder but his expressions remained calm but he too never took that final step to the dark but his son ... just by coming near stopped my dogs bark my grandchild is pure insanity ... me times two not human but a entity ... my son feels it too at the age of 16 he comes home with blood on his hands he enters my dream sleeps in my dome I do feel damned I feel its my fault feel I am to blame know what he is capable of he and I are the same but he has lost his little voice that little piece of humanity he will make that choice and he and I are family so when he finally does decide to cross that line I will accept him and his choice cus we are one mind but something crept in my head like the horse of troy and it scared me more than anything in existence I think I would be proud of the boy for doing what I couldnt do in a lifetime in one instance |
04-28-06, 12:30 PM | #7 |
WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
i was feeling zais' piece more the imagery was better than precize in this one...maybe this is because this piece felt more natural than the other guy....i also felt zais' piece flowed quite a bit better and he also seemed to have a wider vocabulary...basically i felt more compelled to finish reading zais' piece while precize's piece didnt seem that great to me. zais won this one without a shadow of a doubt.
v/ Zais |
04-28-06, 04:03 PM | #8 | |
Flyweight
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IP: F56F 27F8
nice verse homie
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04-28-06, 05:33 PM | #9 |
New to RV
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IP: C04E 1454
thnx for the vote and yeah u too man
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04-30-06, 04:15 PM | #10 | |
GG Haterz
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IP: 3547 E767
Both need to up their writing style. The verses are really simplistic, and not in a good way. Both came rather predictable and need to think more outside the box. Nothing that stood out to me in either verses. Keep writing.
v- Precize for some story and keepin my interest a little.
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For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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