RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > The block > Lyricist Lounge > Rapverse Finest
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 04-17-09, 06:17 PM   #1
Jay Rose
I don't lose
 
Posts: 1,686
Joined: Feb 2006
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 7-1
286 ft. Tyler - Voicemail

IP: F130 A2E3

AWESOME TRACK!!!

check it out tell me what you think

http://www.zshare.net/audio/58798663bdaa1f3f/
__________________



well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're fucking high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead


  Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-09, 01:16 AM   #2
Young Kidd (LM)
Better THAN You!
 
Young Kidd (LM)'s Avatar
 
Posts: 2,195
Joined: Sep 2005
From: Habersham, GA
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 4-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F5BE F879

Mix that primary singing vocal a little more.
It just pops in and sounds pretty loud.

but damn..i like this concept.
nice entrance attitude. good flow, that breathless part was pretty sickkk IMO.
you remind me so much of Jin, no homo. lol
you just sound like him to me.

the second verse is just as good as the first.

uhm im thinkin on the hook add a little effect to it or the backing vocals to give it a voicemailish sound and mix the primary a lil more.

otherwise. illl
__________________
iGhostwrite Mixtape DL
Send a message via AIM to Young Kidd (LM) Send a message via MSN to Young Kidd (LM)   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-09, 01:51 AM   #3
Jay Rose
I don't lose
 
Posts: 1,686
Joined: Feb 2006
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 7-1
IP: F130 A2E3

yeah i had to do this in a day for a compatetion, but yeah i had the voicemail effect on her but her highs are so up there it was too peircing....i unno, i do need to mix a lil more
__________________



well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're fucking high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead


  Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-09, 08:47 PM   #4
50Cal.
STROBE's Favorite Rapper
 
50Cal.'s Avatar
 
Posts: 11,051
Joined: Aug 2004
From: New York
Status: Offline
Text Record: 62-23
Audio Record: 9-2
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: ABA5 813E

damn you sound gay on the answering machine.the girl can sing and the lyrics too the hook are o.k.your speaking too slow and adding too many words which makes you fall off the snare in a couple places.shit is kinda boring how you flowed here.maybe i will jack your hook and beat which aint nothing but a bass line and a cheap piano playing.
__________________
Overall Rapverse Record Including Leagues

94-29
R.I.P RAPVERSE
Send a message via AIM to 50Cal.   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-09, 12:02 AM   #5
La Cosa Nostra
Bangs like bikini attol
 
La Cosa Nostra's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,147,484,064
Joined: Aug 1986
From: Gaza Strip
Status: Offline
Text Record: 54-0
Audio Record: 5-0
Graphics Record: 1-0
IP: F875 0B01

you should say something cooler on the intro phone call.. the tracks interesting.......no thanks to the beat for that cause it has absolutly no flair to it.. the girl singer is good, not enough intrumentals sort of even screws it around for her...

it all sounds good.........i think the beat is just the main problem with this song... you need an intrumental with something that just makes it...
__________________
RIP jono, peace out bboy.
Pardon Canada Criminal Record Pardons Services Toronto
Send a message via MSN to La Cosa Nostra   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-09, 04:17 AM   #6
_Talksic_
Addicted
 
_Talksic_'s Avatar
 
Posts: 2,414
Joined: May 2008
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: FAF5 E058

wasnt really feeling it hooks decent
__________________
...THE BADASSES ARE BACK...
_C.RHYME S.INDICATE_
"RAPVERSE'S ORIGINAL LEGACY OF EXCELLENCE"

"the loudest one in the room is the weakest"- frank lucas..
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:48 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.