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01-29-05, 12:36 PM | #1 | ||||
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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Whyte Ave. Vs. Acuity
IP: 7669 3009
Check in's due before tuesday 12 A.M. Pacific Time Verses Due before friday 12 A.M. Pacific Time Line Limit: 20-50 Lines Max First to 3 votes win 3-0 = KO You must vote in 2 other battles or you will not continue on into the next round. Topic:Obsession.
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www.FG-Servers.com Last edited by Dabatos : 01-29-05 at 08:48 PM. |
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01-29-05, 01:32 PM | #2 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 6FA7 7304
checking in.....
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01-29-05, 03:56 PM | #3 | |||||
Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP: 2FB3 3FC6
check mic 1/2...........
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"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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02-03-05, 08:34 PM | #4 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 6FA7 7304
requesting an extension...
I thought this was due tomorrow at midnight... And I got shit to do tonight Extension granted. All battles will be extended to tomorrow at midnight due to confusion and no show possibilities. px----Personify Last edited by Personify : 02-03-05 at 08:47 PM. |
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02-04-05, 06:56 PM | #5 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 6FA7 7304
You just can’t live without it, but it’s really killing you
Filling your lungs with smog, burning a hole through Your heart, and it’s making you smell like an ashtray Filled with buts, and your life’s slowly rotting away But you’re obsessed with this cancer filled stick Lighting up a pack a day and you know it’s sick But you can’t stop now that you’ve had a puff Dishing out bills because you just can’t get enough It all started back in grade school, with your first light Trying to be cool, even though you knew it wasn’t right It started with just one or two a week, but it grew from there A smoke after every class, filling lungs with contaminated air Filling the need by stealing money from mom and pop Mind bleeds because this is wrong, but you still won’t stop Gone to long without and your body starts to quiver You need that rush that only a cigarette can deliver You start to tire easily, and struggle for each breath Go to the doctor, and he says that you’re near death Cancer has taken over your lungs, and you need to quit You try too, but your obsession won’t allow you to do it You continue to take drags, and puff two packs a day Until your obsession finally takes you in as its prey The stick you needed to live, has caused you to pass away |
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02-04-05, 07:59 PM | #6 | |||||
Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP: AA1F C6C6
Introduction From the first day when the sun arose from the east And I saw your hair swing majestically in the breeze My mind and heart decided that you where my love to be I was encaptured by the way you hair swayed in the wind And the way your lips were full and lush, full of tempting sins Your voice rang out like the singing of birds for you I would have fought groups of ancient demonic heards Emotion My obsessive nature took over my days and thoughts All I could think of was you, my emotions ran distraught I would see you walk daily, gracefully along the streets And without your knowledge, follow you on the creep It was a deadly mind-state, that I had entered gradually into The change was so slow and deadly,so I never knew From the momen I awoke to the moment I slept boo My mind was blank,all I would think of was you The Shooting Of A Dove That is why when you turned down my advances And stood there with your friends with mocking glances My mentality snapped and I entered into a cage of rage Like devil mode had been activated and irreversibly engaged In those very moments as the mirror ball glistened My heart beat stopped, couldnt't be heard no matter how hard I listened And the feelings of adoration,happiness, yearning and love Changed to hate, dessimated in seconds like the final decision of a judge The Tide Of Change I would see you walking around the grounds of school With the boys and girls that you considered cool You would join in when they verbally tortured me And laugh as my tears splashed on the concrete I threw all your pictures onto the bonfire bitch And lit them ablaze, in a fire full of colurs most rich With that rise of smoke from the debris below The clouds parted and emitted a healing glow Present Day So now as my obsession is left buried in the soil I look and laugh at how I used to rebound like a coil Yearning, wanting you with my every strand of being Yet you where nothing special, although you were a beauty worth seeing I have moved on in life, and prevailed through my strife And now happiness in my daily times is rife Although in my cerbellum the memory remains Of how you affected me and dealt a dagger of pain But now that my soul has been cleansed and in light bathed My obsession for you girl has forever been erased
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"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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02-04-05, 08:11 PM | #7 | |||||
Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP: AA1F C6C6
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1940018
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1940024
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"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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02-05-05, 12:59 AM | #8 | ||||
GG Haterz
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IP: 107F B682
Whyte Ave.- Decent drop. Not that original, though I did like the twist at the end. Not much in the verse. Flow was aight, vocab was ok, structure was fine, but overall nothing special, and not much depth. 6.5/10
Acuity- Nice piece. I like how the obsession gets conquered. Some metaphors I found, not sure if you meant to put in any or not. Flow was good, as was your vocab. Depth was nice, and overall just a good drop. 7.5/10 v/Acuity
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Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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02-05-05, 02:41 AM | #9 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 6FA7 7304
^ I'd say mine is original...Everyone would take the obsession topic and put it towards a girl
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02-05-05, 03:24 AM | #10 | |||||||
Life is a Constant Battle
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IP: 2430 2BA8
sorry whyte but i gotta agree with personify that it didnt seem to go with the topic and wasnt as in deph and as emotional as it could have been your basics where all there but that was it...
Acuity took this one for his begining and finish...he had good imagry and had it in a good deph...he had flow and liked how the topic was chaptered like a book great stuff easy to follow... big upps kid and if i need more explaination ill got line for line vote acuity
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B.Wall O.G. |
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02-05-05, 08:16 AM | #11 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 029A 70BC
Both weren't too original in fact but it's hard to come very creative with this topic (it's possible though). But Acuity allowed himself to use more emotion because he twisted the topic towards a girl.
Whyte Ave: was feeling your flow and you had me focussed throughout the whole thing, vocab was good and structure was nice to. Could've used some more imagery and emotion though but wasn't that easy with your view on the topic, it's hard to write a very emotional piece then...Good job nonetheless... Acuity: hard to come original with this topic but I loved the twist in the ending where the obsession disappears. Vocab was tight, found a good balance there, had your flow on lock and structure made it easy to read. You had strongest emotion for sure because of your twist of the topic, solid drop! My vote goes to Acuity...no hate... DQ
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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02-05-05, 01:16 PM | #12 | ||||
GG Haterz
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IP: 7474 C3B1
Acuity wins this due to a 3-0 KO. Good job, Acuity.
CLOSED
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Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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