Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
03-04-07, 11:45 AM | #1 | ||||
pain is weakness leaving the body
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Untitled
IP: 960E 56C5
Fragant fragrance consuming me wholly
while i starve to obtain its origin; a true historian, with false misconception. Miss deception was working over-time to work over time and make my trues false and her faults mine. An artistic adjective, linguistic laxative that's quick and smooth but then comes the shit, and it takes a whiff to remember the stench of hard earned money wasted and emotion spent. The terrible truth touches tellers of drama with fact, that what goes around comes around so if you look over you shoulder, your front is your back... Link 1 Link 2
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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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03-06-07, 08:14 PM | #2 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 4655 126D
had to read, and it was good man
my fav line was: "An artistic adjective, linguistic laxative" ever so short, yet your word play was great...got a visual on confusion and everything flippin scripts on you. nice drop.
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[DROPS THE MIC] Switch (The Poet) "Cry havok and let slip, the dogs of war" -William Shakespeare "Before you judge someone remember... Amateurs built the arc, Professionals built the Titanic." -Unknown Links: http://www.myspace.com/switchthepoet |
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05-26-07, 11:23 PM | #3 | |||||
I have a lot to learn...
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IP: 80D6 7866
The alliteration added nothing and took away some sincerity... You shouldn't try so hard.
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05-30-07, 06:03 PM | #4 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 8719 57C1
Word Id rather have it titled then not at all it just doesnt give as much feeling as a regular poem you read read in poetic scriptures on any sight would give. Anyways you tried way to hard and it was obviously exposed but still I liked your vocabulary it was well upkeeped but the imagery just wasnt there.......try less next time but good job next time title it
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