Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
04-22-03, 11:20 PM | #1 | ||||||
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tell me wut u think i need ta work on
IP: 1E30 68A5
dis an ol battle but still lookin fo advice
Metaphors confusin dis kid now he cant battle cuz he's...lyrically stuck/ Dis batle gona give ya a bang fo ya buck...2 lines n dis kid already got struck/ think you ahead of da game lyrivally mentally n physically call ya self...da chief/ u worse den chunky chicken soup ya go to da store n buy 10 different guns...wen ya got no beef/ The end of this lyrical bombing is jus ur games...saturation point/ Leavin ya in so much smoke u think it's one of "Heavily Weeded's"...joint/ Chalengin me to a batle see ma verse n ya self esteem evaporates so swift/ Tryin ta spit as ya tremble wit fear as u see ma lyric demon ya comin at a...drift/ Grab tha beauty utencils to make up fo ya shortage of your...atrocious disses/ Even if ya fed off ma verse n stood 1 foot away from me ya punches wood stil be...misses/ spittin like if i was from alaska leave ya covered in spit u'll hav a continous..."shiver"/ "Lyrikal Swords" clashin n slashin now "cry me a river" wen i verbally...crack ya liver/ |
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04-23-03, 03:40 AM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 7FEB 4053
it wasnt that bad, but your vocab should be more consistent. dont only use bigger words at the end of your lines. put them all over, use metaphors, multies, and make them punches hit hard and you be aight. wordplay is the name of the game
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04-23-03, 10:23 AM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 4ED3 41CB
iight thanx yo
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04-23-03, 12:41 PM | #4 | ||||||
BANNED For Being A Bitch
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IP: 03A8 9B72
ye gud that dawg
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04-23-03, 02:12 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 1E30 68A5
ppin fo mo thanx
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