Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-06-09, 06:43 PM | #1 | |||||
The Write Weight
|
a taste of love, forever
IP: 3839 9710
lost loving loneliness
living a lame life perceiving a pedestal of pure poison. pitiful... my falling is predictable I trip when lips are licked lust slips like banana peel my mind is busted at my heart's ground zero. I’ve yet to find my wonder - women don't make great heroes. I have everything to fear though, ears don't hear they watch every move. every time I try it's a recession. nothing goes up, until it rains & i drown, brows down no sound my Beethoven. playing around mirrors watching camera's click clack I’m shot in the wrong. caught, my thought fought the last breath. knocked by cupids twisted arrow, this time it's un-supernatural. until my heart beats, i bleed to death - all alone, myself. |
|||||
04-01-09, 05:10 PM | #2 | ||||||
Herb
|
IP: FFF0 F2CE
this was a 'solid' piece nice use of vocab i liked it overall i think youre bars could have been longer,but i see the style over all okay piece
__________________
J-TIME
|
||||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|