Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
04-19-09, 05:00 AM | #1 | |||||||
New to RV
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Spoken Words of a Mute Man
IP: 9292 F200
Im new here, this is my first piece
Trapped in a world where nothing grows but anger Wall's chipped and the air lurks of danger Someone aid me out of this layer I'm trammeled in this place with no trace of strangers It was Me verses Myself when it came to the hard times Blame came to me, so i sliped to the darkside Somewhere along the line of life my heart died Chambers filled with pain but i couldn't let out a far cry There was no one in sight Help was needed, but no one believed it Wounded on the outside In the inside i was bleeding Teased all my life for the language i can't speak What makes you guys so much better than me? In South Korea i spoke normally But I walk into the states and something is wrong with me I caught anxiety and they labeled me depressed Aced every quiz but i can't handle life's test Cut off all my hair, since it was falling from the stress Than let out all my anger on the innocent soul's in Virginia Tech ..Sincerely yours...Seung-Hui Cho |
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05-08-09, 04:13 AM | #2 | |||
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IP: 5985 21AD
I actually liked this. I thought it had good imagery and some strong emotion to it. I didnt really like the parts that rhymed, some seemed forced because you was trying.to rhyme it. But all in all i enjoyed it. Id like to see more from you.
but you need two links to keep this open
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Fuck Yuu Productions
5x PS HOF 2004 Poet of the year 3X writer of the month |
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