Uppin.

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Ignorance: The condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed.

Just thought I should post that in case Mad Dog checks this.

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I think we both used the topic in the right context.

Yours was about growing up and things you learnt.

Mine was posing the question of would it be better to live in blissful ignorance to the worlds problems and be happy, rather than be stressed about where the worlds heading.

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RIP jono, peace out bboy.
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Voted For: Pablo Escobar

Nice battle right here, I love the topic and you both worked it out in a very nice way actually.

Nostradamus: I love your approach of the topic, you managed to express something quite deep and insightful throughout understandable words. The flow was good, had multis in there, similar sound expressions and such. Vocabulary was kept rather simple but that made the message you were trying to show more powerful and direct in my opinion. Emotion was strongest aspect I think, you went nicely into detail, portraying different views on several situations and everything was easy to understand and follow. It was not so much of an imagery piece yet you used some pictures to go with the emotion you expressed. I'm feeling the lil intro and outro things because they just sum everything up and make the readers think about shit you know. Some of my favo lines were the following:

..Because I'm busting for something & I dont know what to call it.
It aint world peace-----cause world peace, hes an alcaholic.
Often talking on that old shit, the futures real, inherit it.
Never be scared of it, cause winners be prepared for anything.

Great piece...

The Revelation: I'm digging your topic use as well, find it quite nice how you expressed it as if it was just a letter written to an old friend. The flow was okay but that's an area you can still improve on, adding more multis, internal rhyming, maybe try some assonances or alliterations to make the overall sound expression more fluent. You combined a sort of pure, serene emotion (as of a child in fact) with clear images so I cannot really say which is the best aspect, imagery and emotion are so closely connected that it's hard to tell. The vocabulary is quite simple but unline in Nostradamus' piece, here it gave more an innocent vibe instead of a powerful and direct one. Big vocab would have probably ruined the piece because I'm feeling the innocent approach you used here. Thing I'm kinda missing is that you approach it in a personal way but do not pose too many questions so you don't make the reader stand still and think which is what Nostradamus did do. Some of my favo lines were the following:

Leadership qualities I never knew existed seem to show with a problem,
Because like someoone said, If problems arise there is always a way to solve em.
Fore a problem is created by man so in essance there is a way to fix it,
If only life was like it once was with no stress and it was simplistic.

Solid piece...


In the end, my vote goes to Nostradamus even though it was a very close battle. He just made the readers stand still and think about their own life or relate to own experiences and such where as The Revelation used a more personal approach.

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Voted For: Pablo Escobar

ok......watta fuckin good battle.... shit.... this was real tough though....i wanted to vote for Revelation... but the lines which caught me straight up from you NAs was a passionate fashion, opposed of procrastination.
Instead these problems exist in every free world nation.
Kids dont learn skill, with their head stuck to playstations.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
dats nuttin but the truth.... .... your lines made sense to reader.... so did revelations but.. yours wuz ..well could just connect wit it more.
altough i never got the hip-hop deal.. in the sense... not all people want on hip-hop deals.. sure every man wants to be rich but the well off and well educated who are already rich dnt think like that ... only the i guess dreamers or the less forunate , or those who wish to be somwhere .. like us....

Aswell were in a world where the povertys real.
& every man & his dog wants to hip-- hop on a deal.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ but a very touchin line aiight... dope line.... overall vote goes to NOs

as for RevelationWhere mommy and daddy were super heros and could never be wrong,
When people kissing was gross and "Wheels On the Bus" was my favorite song.
I know that you are used to this, because it happens to everyone,
And maybe someday we can hang out again when it is all said and done.
My speech is improving and inproper grammar is no longer cute,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
fuck... you a genius in the makin mate.... dope..... that line wuz realistic ..and very true... Our world is fukin changin

The boogie man isn't scary and the monster under my bed is dead,
Instead of being complimented, I am being teased for being a red head.
People smoke, and drink, and have sex whenever they think it is best,
Everyday I learn new words like fetish, masturbator, and incest.
Leadership qualities I never knew existed seem to show with a problem,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^66666
brilliant body for your verse......

but NOs got this for overall flow.... and construction... had better vocab and made an easy connection with it......

Return the favour on my battles... .and dnt think this is one of them "RTF" votes/// aiight

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