Picture a little boy, brown hair, only the age of four-
never did anything wrong, but his mother doesnt want him anymore\
She's always gettin high, with no reguard for her son-
even when he's the perfect little boy, by his mom he gets shunned\
He tries to be a good kid, he doesnt know what hes doing wrong-
tries to find a toy to play with, while his mom hits the bong\
The young boy woke up one morning to find his mother on the floor dead-
the little boy knew his mother was gone, but not one tear was shed\
From that day on the boy was homeless, he had nowhere to live anymore-
he was in different foster homes, but no one wanted the son of a crack whore\
The boy felt like he waws alone, wandering the streets every night-
trying just to survive in the world, trying to win the fight\
Some told the boy that he would never have a tomorrow-
all the boy ever wanted was a happy life, instead its filled with sorrow\
One day the boy found that he was good at writing rhymes-
he had a dream of making good money, instead of commiting crimes\
One day he wrote a rap, it was the most heat filled thing ever writtin-
but he left his paper in the park, and one day he saw his rap bein spittin\
But he isnt mad, it makes him feel really good-
because he just proved to the world, that he did something they said he never could\

The concept on this was pretty good, but you didn't really deliver the lyrical quality to make it a superior piece. The flow was all over the place, and you really lacked the multis...Seems you were stuck on 'one word a line' rhyme scheme. Like I said though, you picked a good topic to write on. Shit like that is going on all over the place, it's real shit. Overall, it wasn't bad, but still could of been better. Keep 'em coming....Pz!