Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-09-06, 01:30 AM | #1 | |||||
New to RV
|
..."Where Would I Be?"...
IP: 28AD 5545
My first lyrical drop on RapVerse...Let me know what y'all think...
. . . *she whispers* "Baby, You Know I Love You.." *I smirk and reply* "...Yeah Baby, I Love You Too..." . . . Never Knew When I Met You That Night, It Would Change My Life Never Knew I’d Stay With You This Long, It Couldn’t Be More Right You’ve Taught Me So Much, Matter Fact You Know What I Was Completely Lost, I Was Just About Ready To Fold Up End My Future & Let Me Be Forgotten In History, But Luckily You Were There Maybe It Was Meant To Be, When You Were Sent To Me, It Seemed So Rare Never Have I Had Such A Perfect Thing Shine Upon Me So Aggressive & Strong… Yet You Came So Calmly Welcomed From The Beginnin, But Still, I Wasn’t Too Confident Glorified Every Moment, Always Stared At You In Astonishment Thought Your Body Was Directly Hand-Crafted From Gods Confused & Lost When I Found You Were Made By Frauds But I Did Respect Moms, She Was At Least Helpful & Honest Pops Though Was An Asshole, With Eyes Despised Upon Us Looked At Me With Discomfort, Told Me You Would Always Come First Didn’t Want To See Me Affect You, Thought I Was Just Another Dumb Jerk But Let’s Get Back To You, I’m Askin You, What I Have To Do Remember That, I Know I Couldn’t Forget Or Grasp The Truth The Other Guys In Your Life, They Knew You Much Longer They Were More Experienced, More Confident… & Even Stronger I Felt Weak, How Could I Compete, It Wasn’t My Block, It Wasn’t My Street I Just Wanted To Take Their Spot, & Miraculously Hold You In Their Defeat But Then, I Started Workin With Them…Or At Least That’s What They Thought & Still Do, I Have Yet To Be Caught, Except By You, Nothin Could Make You Stop But Through The Others I Learned A Lot There Was Even More Trying To Get A Spot Everyone Wanted A Piece Of You, But Some Could Only Stare I Remember When I Was One Of Them, Thinkin Life Wasn’t Fair Then Suddenly, Everything Happened So Fast You Asked If I'd Take Another Chance....... I Was Stunned! I Couldn’t Even Feel My Hands! But I Didn’t Respond Or Nod, Just Smiled Like A Moron You Took That As A ‘Yes’ & Just Caressed My Fore Arm Then I Left With My Head In The Sky, Proud To Be Alive I Knew We Would Get Together, It Was Finally My Time I Didn’t Even Mind That There Were The Other Guys Cuz I Realized, You Loved The Way I Rubbed Thighs You Loved The Way I Felt You Up, Loved The Way I Came Through But Unfortunately You Didn’t Know It Was All A Lie To Obtain You You Were Deceived, That Wasn’t The Real Me, I Stole It & Didn’t Pay Due Got It From Some Other Guys, Come On, I Didn’t Know Any Other Way To Show You How Much I Needed You In My Worthless Life Other Guys Gave Up On You, But I Always Had To Fight Fuck Stayin Sincere, Give Me Credit For Bein Here Credit For Bein Honest Now, For Actually Comin Clear Here’s The Truth, I’ve Cheated On You Over Twenty Times, No Lies But Inside, It Kills Me, The Crimes Through Lies Has To Find Designs & The Only Meaning I’ve Found Is Fear… I Was Scared You Wouldn’t Accept Me My Style Was Too Messy, But Cheatin Was The Defense Mechanism That Kept Me I Wouldn’t Be With You If I Told You Everything & Played It Safe Every Mistake Paved The Way & Now I Just Can’t Escape My Fate I’m Truly Sorry About All The Deceiving, I Didn’t Mean To Just Tellin You Now, So I Don’t Have To When I Leave You…
__________________
|
|||||
02-09-06, 01:42 AM | #2 | |||||
New to RV
|
IP: 7BE2 A0A1
My Links:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=221597 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=221640 Now, Uppin for some feed....
__________________
|
|||||
02-10-06, 01:09 AM | #3 | |||||||
Middle Weight
|
IP: 903F 26CB
honestly after reading on eof your battle verse I expected this to be a lot better... it just wasn't very witty... there are no outstnding sections in this or stand alone lines... there's nothing that really pulls me in and makes me feel this... it's not very descriptive as to what's going on... it coulda been a lot more vivid... and considering all of the lines you used it really shoulda been... Just about every rhyme can be predicted... there's nothing really compelling in this... the rhyme scheme is kinda flat... you got your thoughts across but you didn't do it in an entertaining sytle... over all this was aight but it coulda very easily been a blaze piece considering the emotion the topic should envoke... nice try
__________________
\....../ \..../ \../ A.I. Spilled Inc. |
|||||||
02-10-06, 01:13 AM | #4 | |||||
New to RV
|
IP: 3240 794D
Thanks for the honest feed...This was just something I was fuckin around with, Never really did a verse outside of battles b4 this...I'll stick to Front Lines lol
__________________
|
|||||
02-10-06, 01:22 AM | #5 | |||||
New to RV
|
IP: 8298 F3E8
way too long 4 da skill level yo.... basically u mgiht do better if u kept it a lil shorter and kept tha shit u were feelin most and tried to make it work that way...
didnt read it all but sum of it waz ight yo... sounds like she aint worth it newayz peace Ü |
|||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|