2:32 am.
another suicide victim is found in the street.

3 days later on goes his funeral.
a talk with god goes on later....


SV:

where am i? i thought i should be dead.
i was crying 2 the sky witha bullet in my head.
wut is this place. whats with all these clouds.
there is so much space.and these echos so loud.

GOD:

welcome my son. welcome 2 my home.
that was a nice gun that u put to ur dome.
but that is not the point of me speakin 2 you.
im so disapointed on wut u had 2 do.
takin a 9mm to the brain was just insane.
there was so much pain u couldnt maintain.

SV:

im sorry sir. but that was my last choice.
life was such a blurr and i kept hearin this voice.
i dont know who it was, but it had me insane.
so i put my life on pause, as i pump lead threw my vains.
jumpin threw a new plane. thinkin life is 2 good for me.
no one else 2 blame cus i set myself free.

GOD:

u were free since u was born. u first second in this world.
but i see u got torn as u was tossed and twirled.
problems u go threw. u should talk them over with me.
but i saw as u grew. u no longer believed in me.
i had to give u clues. but u still just disaggred.
thinking ur life was to low. so u said u had 2 go.
u had all the space 2 grow. my love always showed.
u just took the time 2 load, but u took seconds 2 explode.

SV:

what other choices did i have? where else was i to go?
i feel my life was just halved. and i was lost in all the snow.
my family didnt want me. my friends just tend 2 leave me.
so i brought my self 2 my knees. and let my self free.
think that my life would just leave me at an ease.

GOD:

my child, wut would u say. if i give u another chance.
one that isnt so grey, one that u urself can enhance.
i will give u ur old name. and ill give u ur old friends.
but u must put out the flame and continue with ur amends.

SV:

u would do that for me? i dont know how to say thankz.
ill get off my knees and advance threw these rankz.
ill do my best to keep u happy. my best to keep u proud.
life wont be so crappy. so hurry up and get me off this cloud.

GOD:

let me roll up my sleaves, lets do this with ease.
ill make u believe that u have awoke from a disease.
u wont remember this talk. u wont remember the gun.
that out line of chalk will poof and be gone.
dont worry my son, ill still keep in good touch.
it has been fun. just be good cus i dont ask much.

God pulls up his sleaves and snaped his fingers
and sure enough the Sv felt his fingers.
waking up in a bed. some where on 32nd street.
with a pain in his head and his family and friends at his feet.
this is justt another ressurection. that know one knows came to place.
brought by gods effection and his love to his race.

ok its done

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

Not bad, but u should finish it. I like the dialogue u got going on, its not bad. But u should add some more multies into it, cuz i didnt see many in this. But it seems like a good story, the topic is something i havent read on this site yet, so good luck with it man, once u finish it i'll get at it again, please rtf on anything in my sig, thanks. Peace.

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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...30&page=2&pp=15
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219324

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

leave some fuckin feed bitches.

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

come on ppl this is a good piece bring me some feed!!!

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

ffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeddddddddddd

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

Droppin Feed:


I Really enjoyed this Piece, the dialouge was very very nice, this would be a very *HOT* audio piece, i think u should go 4 it....

They only thing i hated, was some of our bars rhymed but it didnt catch...ya know....like for instance:

"let me roll up my sleaves, lets do this with ease.
ill make u believe that u have awoke from a disease."

Ease= 1 Syllable
Disease=2 Syllable


"but i saw as u grew. u no longer believed in me.
i had to give u clues. but u still just disaggred."

Me=1 Syllable
dissagreed=3 syllable...

So when u read it , its kinda off.....I make that mistake a lot when i flow, so i kknow it when i see it..


and just in the beginning, where u imputed the "setting" aka...what itz bout...i think u shoulda did it at the end

like 8:42am
Wakes up in bed...blah blah blah.... like that

but newayz, take into consideration into making this an *audio*....with the right beats, and tone, this would be *hot*

Yup!

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~*~ Open Micz In Need of Feed~*~
Tashay n BonaFide Collab FreeStyle..

I LaunCh RoCketz Da Size Of CoCk Pitz../LyRiCists only "Cum QuiCk" with a "DilDo" and a Sex "FliCk"..//

thankz for the love. might do that.

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

bbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmppppp!!!! feed foolz

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

bump 2 the top ,

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

feed? any one???

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

uppin this piece.....

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.