Acceptance

GOD made man in moderation
We all have a curse and a blessing
I must be messing with temptation
In contemplation of why I'm stressing

Is acceptance all that we seek in life
Or are we content with normality
In actuality I can’t deal with that fallacy
Cause I lie in wait for this lie to dissipate

Spending time in constant critique
Should we not all be happy with our self
Then we are dealt with this belief
Be unique… like everybody else


*Attempt of a new rhyme scheme for myself*

this came across as more of a poem the rhyme scheme has been done before and could work in rap if you put your lines together they would end up having multi's, i understand you were just trying something out something new so i won't say anything about how short it was. good drop in a way dawg. ps try dropping it in poetic scriptures they'll probably respond more. this just dosen't feel like an open mic piece.

indeed this poetic stanza depicting inner tormoil and it was beautifully done....it was a short peace which dispointed me but you got the point across beautifully

love ya ^^ both

can i please get some feedback
thanx...its mostly cause i want to know how this style works for me

Yeah it was short and sweet, and it read more like poetry. But it's a beautiful piece. I'd say this style suits you very well. And I can't wait to see more. It's beautiful, daddy lol. Keep it up. One+

Okay. .

First things first, try to stay away from all 'tion' and 'ing' rhyming words, their the most basic of all to rhyme with, and that takes away from its complexity. This flowed pretty decent as i read it, it was short and to the point, but it was too short to really develop into a great piece, i agree about this seeming more poetry-esque, but the topic was pretty original, you had a few good ideas, just try extending your pieces to around 20 lines and each of your lines to approx. 12-16 syllables per line for near-perfect flow.

The potentials there, you just need to work on it.

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t

i think i hit my elevation platue...
but thanx for feedback...
i need help... someone help...

This was a pretty good peice, it was a good read i thought, your flow was pretty good, yeah i also agree about it seeming more poetic, it was a pretty good peice overall i thought, keep dropping man.

beautifully put..it was a little too short for my tastes...if you condense it is is like what? roughly 4 bars? with the exception of that, this was a good read...

but the length leaves little to critique.

2 ups left
upping for feedback
let me know

4 up
1 left

ok flow but was a bit short for my liking and a bit too poetic,
but from the other comments it appeals to others just not myself
big up keep spittin........ appreciation

i thought that was pretty damn ill......i was feelin the poetic vibe.....i thought the rhyme scheme was chillin.....the vocab and wordplay was thuggin......topic was original.....overall, nice post......keep droppin homie.......

peace.......

Me Showing That I Wont Give Into The Tyranny..Post # 3