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09-03-04, 12:50 AM | #1 | ||||||
Light Weight
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Man and Mansions
IP: 3FCF 03A9
Man and Mansions
This house so cold, chilling, and falling to pieces Holes in the walls where pictures used to be Rotting wood lay where we used to dance Windows dusty and blurred, broken so long ago A staircase leading to a room where I left all of my problems A door you entered to release love and fear into my heart A lock you broke, because I was smart enough to hide the key A mirror shattered, and it cost me more then seven years to recover A sink so rusted and old, my wrinkles relate I step out to the stoop where the sun used to shine down Peer down into a garden where shrubs have overcome the beauty Grass overgrown, obviously not being taken care of, kind of like myself You broke me down, but I let me go You broke me down, you... broke... me |
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09-03-04, 09:54 AM | #2 | ||||
Its Da Real Deal
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IP: 3240 794D
dat wont rite but i like yo poem i felt it in a way
it made a lot of sense but da problem wit me was how da flow was but overall it was a good poem keep doin yo thang
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<marquee></marquee> No ones gonna stop me |
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09-12-04, 07:13 AM | #3 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 0F7A 2931
lets see if someone can understand this peice.......
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09-12-04, 03:01 PM | #4 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 0825 899A
wow, this was incredible, beautiful imagery and your words were so much deeper then i think these kids realize, i'm surprised i missed this, i liked the line "a mirror shattered and it cost me seven years to recover", a bad luck type line, you know like the superstition, this would make a great song,keep it up boi, and holla at your gurl, if you want to ever collab on a piece or open mic, i like your descriptiveness
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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