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10-22-04, 05:37 AM | #1 | ||||
Da KiNg Of PwNaGe
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Depths of Thought (Lyric and Mesmerize)
IP: 7753 EEA0
Depths of Thought
Mesmerize=Normal Lyric=Italics A blanket of ecstasy encases me as your arms embrace my waist Erased reality into a divine dream of loves enchanted place Embedded beneath your arms as you trace your fingers down my spine Profound sublime entwined my heart as your benign eyes confine Your redolence seeps among my breath and lifts me to utopia Unlocking the gate of my chateau filled with blissful cornucopia Hoping a night like this will never cease the plateau of its existence For my subsistence now depends upon your sweet and tender kisses Your presence is like Gods holiness and I feel so unworthy Because You’ve healed me in times when life would never grant its mercy And to lay here in the night with you by my side Is the place id give my soul for an eternity to reside Procrastinating the new day for being away from you is dying I can only hold on to you longer, no getting up and trying Your words are such a symphony filling me with thankful tears You send me to tranquility whispering sweet nothings in my ears Looking deep into your loving eyes, time possesses the key to close them Attempt to keep my vision focused, determined to cherish every moment Our hearts beat to the same song, your breathing slows to a steadier pace Your beautiful figure outlined in the dark, starting to drift off far away Floating on clouds of dreams in distant lands, elevated above all despair A smile on your sweet lips, as I kiss them softly with passionate care My arm serves as your pillow, ignore the sharp tingling as it falls asleep But I dare not even flinch, for fear of awaking you from your fantasies Feel your breath glancing off my neck, all troubles take a back seat Comforting arms surround like seas, providing a deep dense of security Holding you near to me, is better than anything I could ever imagine Why do I need to dream, reality is better than anything I could fathom But tiredness eventually consumes me, I just want to hold what is true And potentially everyone must sleep, so I might as well dream of you Cast me off into the night, let our bond grow stronger as I set sail My lids heavily begin to drop, I set off to join you in your fairy tale |
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10-22-04, 05:00 PM | #2 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 0825 899A
beautiful poem, lyrically, this was very well done, the imagery was amazing, love the vocabulary, and how you incorporate so much in your lines, nice job,keep em coming..1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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10-24-04, 02:54 AM | #3 | ||||
Da KiNg Of PwNaGe
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IP: 7753 EEA0
thank you for the reply
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10-25-04, 03:08 PM | #4 | ||||
New to RV
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IP: A713 E6BC
Mesmerize:Excellent. Beautiful vocab and imagery. Very good flow. Best poem I have ever read. Keep up the wonderful work.
Lyric:Very good. Very good imagery. Decent vocab. Decent flow. Just work on the flow and vocab, but nonetheless very good. Keep it up and strive for excellence. I personally prefered Mesmerize's poem, but Lyric's was a close second. Very nice both of you.
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp) n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment. ^Don't forget the white man^ Poetic Scriptures poems: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462 |
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