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Old 10-22-04, 05:37 AM   #1
LyRiCaL GeEnUs
Da KiNg Of PwNaGe
 
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Depths of Thought (Lyric and Mesmerize)

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Depths of Thought

Mesmerize=Normal
Lyric=Italics

A blanket of ecstasy encases me as your arms embrace my waist
Erased reality into a divine dream of loves enchanted place
Embedded beneath your arms as you trace your fingers down my spine
Profound sublime entwined my heart as your benign eyes confine
Your redolence seeps among my breath and lifts me to utopia
Unlocking the gate of my chateau filled with blissful cornucopia
Hoping a night like this will never cease the plateau of its existence
For my subsistence now depends upon your sweet and tender kisses
Your presence is like Gods holiness and I feel so unworthy
Because You’ve healed me in times when life would never grant its mercy
And to lay here in the night with you by my side
Is the place id give my soul for an eternity to reside
Procrastinating the new day for being away from you is dying
I can only hold on to you longer, no getting up and trying
Your words are such a symphony filling me with thankful tears
You send me to tranquility whispering sweet nothings in my ears

Looking deep into your loving eyes, time possesses the key to close them
Attempt to keep my vision focused, determined to cherish every moment
Our hearts beat to the same song, your breathing slows to a steadier pace
Your beautiful figure outlined in the dark, starting to drift off far away
Floating on clouds of dreams in distant lands, elevated above all despair
A smile on your sweet lips, as I kiss them softly with passionate care
My arm serves as your pillow, ignore the sharp tingling as it falls asleep
But I dare not even flinch, for fear of awaking you from your fantasies
Feel your breath glancing off my neck, all troubles take a back seat
Comforting arms surround like seas, providing a deep dense of security
Holding you near to me, is better than anything I could ever imagine
Why do I need to dream, reality is better than anything I could fathom
But tiredness eventually consumes me, I just want to hold what is true
And potentially everyone must sleep, so I might as well dream of you
Cast me off into the night, let our bond grow stronger as I set sail
My lids heavily begin to drop, I set off to join you in your fairy tale
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Old 10-22-04, 05:00 PM   #2
fluidmoon
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beautiful poem, lyrically, this was very well done, the imagery was amazing, love the vocabulary, and how you incorporate so much in your lines, nice job,keep em coming..1
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Old 10-24-04, 02:54 AM   #3
LyRiCaL GeEnUs
Da KiNg Of PwNaGe
 
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thank you for the reply
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Old 10-25-04, 03:08 PM   #4
Grammar Popo
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Mesmerize:Excellent. Beautiful vocab and imagery. Very good flow. Best poem I have ever read. Keep up the wonderful work.
Lyric:Very good. Very good imagery. Decent vocab. Decent flow. Just work on the flow and vocab, but nonetheless very good. Keep it up and strive for excellence.
I personally prefered Mesmerize's poem, but Lyric's was a close second. Very nice both of you.
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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp)
n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment.

^Don't forget the white man^
Poetic Scriptures poems:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462
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