Intro

Well, the voting was GREAT last week. Every battle got tons of votes so that was a huge source of optimism. Unfortunately, the battles weren’t that great with a lot of no-shows going on, especially near the top battles. Here’s what went down.

Last Weeks Battle Reviews by Prycele$$

1. Axeshun (5-0) vs. 2. DiZzy (4-0)

Ok... who NOSHOWS in a championship match? SMH x1234355345 @ Axeshun. Dizzy dropped a pretty good verse against Axeshun, dissing Proof. In the immortal words of Rick James. "It's Rick James BITCH."

3. DaTrusHurtz (10-1) vs. 4. Sureloc Holmes (5-3)

I think theres a trend going on with the 'No show at a big match' thing. SMH x1234355345 @ Sureloc. DaTrus dropped nice against Sureloc, dissing John Lennon. R.I.P to Johnny Cash!

5. Bobericc_Lyrics (6-3) vs. 6. Tebo (2-3)

FGHJKLASDF! Another no show! Woooooooooooooooooow, uhh... Tebo did nice, he showed, atleast he didnt disgrace Tupac by not showing, Iunt know who Frank Sinarta is though. Tebo dropped a pretty good 16. Thug Life!

7. Chase Utley (2-0) vs. 8. -Coop- (2-0)

No comment... atleast Coop checked in, right? Well, can't really say much bout this battle... cept' for.. Crockey @ the no shows.. god damn, hey.. it makes my job easier tho.

9. §howcase (9-2) vs. 10. Professor (2-2)

Professor obviously deserves Bitch Of The Week. I mean come on.. dude didn't drop cause he didnt want to drop.. wow.. do it in the morning before u go to school or sumthin. .come on, takes 2 minutes.. anyway, Showcase dropped pretty good against Professor, dissing Bob Marley. Gave him that sexual healin.. cept witout the sex.. or the healing for that matter..

11. Nick Fletcher (1-1) vs. 12. Prycele$$ (4-4)

Even I got no showed against!.. wow.. uhh. I guess i dropped pretty good against Nick, just gave it a quick keystyle wit sum punches i thought of before hand. So yeah.. i won.. and if u dont know.. well now you know NIGGA.

13. Uncil Phil (3-2) vs. 14. Alphabetized (4-2)

Yep.. first finished battle in here folks. Take a second to clap before you read the rest..
Anyway.. Uncil Phil came how he usually does, with his witty punches and good wording. He came wit it a lil harder then usual to, from what ive seen anyway. Alpha did pretty good too and manage to get 2 votes.. oh and supplied with a quote i can use to end this off. "I'd like you to give my love to my family and friends." and i'd like to say Uncil Phil won this battle 6 -2

15. docholiday (1-1) vs. 16. Tony Brown (7-4)

Ehh, shaky battle, could've been better both sides. Doc really didn't come with it, his concepts were lacking, as his wording. Tony Brown prolly thought he didn't have to come with it much, and so he didn't. He still stuck away wit this win 6 - 1. He made the bloodshed, wit mad hoes, ask beavis i get nuthin butthead.

17. Popcorn (3-4) vs. 18. Wireless (6-5)

Popcorn came nice wit the wordplay, his opener was nice and personally i liked the Jackson line. Heychoo didn't come that nice, after all he didnt keystyle it in 2min.. i liked his seeing is believing line thats about all. Popcorn won this battle 9 - 1. Popcorns victory song: Hit the road jack.. and dont u come back no more..

19. Phil Benjamin (2-2) vs. 20. Ace Heratoga (1-1)

Uhh.. another god damn no show.. my neck hurts to much to smh @ Ace. Iunt know Johnny Carson to quote him on anything either.. I'd leave you feed on your verse Phil.. but Trus did it already lol. All I can really say is.. that pic of Johnny Carson is ugly as fuck.. is that a smile? or wha..

21. Civilized Gangsta (2-4) vs. 22. Sprungy (0-0)

Sprungy, i was expectin more from ya man.. you mad vet to drop that subpar, no offense of course. K-Stubbs came wit it tho, prolly knowin how good Sprungy was.. and he was able to sweep through wit this victory, I liked the godfather line to. Fits well seeing as James brown was the "Godfather of Soul music"

23. Artistik (0-0) vs. 24. K.ontroverz.Y (0-0)

Battle of the big titty bitches!.. i mean the gimmicks.. not the battlers.. but ya never know. Artistik came wit the nice concepts and pretty good wording. He had a well rounded verse. Kon didn't have great concepts but his wording was nice.. i like how he rapped as the person he was too. Artistik won this battle.. but neither of them voted, so they both lost. Can't quote either of them.. just know that.. i'd fuck both of them.

25. Lay Fear (0-0) vs. 26. Top C Krit (0-0)

This battle was alright I guess.. I like the black leaders battle. Lay Fear came pretty nice, I liked the washington punch. Top C Krit only has a kool name.. from wat i seen in this battle atleast. Both need some work on they shit. "Nigga get to the back of the bus." "Bitch what!?".. ehh couldnt find the exact quote, bare wit me.

Battle of the Week

None

I mean, I could put something here, but there wasn’t a battle that I thought was even decent so sorry, none this week.

Verse of the Week

Uncil Phil vs. Jesse James

Yo you a pussy... other than that I dont know who kid is...
Battlin Ted Bundy though?1st use wikipedia.. see what I do 2 bitches
You fucken scrawny too n I wont spend a whole day on a clown
Nigga so small that played ass jacket is weighin him down
And a blast from the past, so theres no way that son hot
Jesse James?
hes from the era where they wore kleenx on they neck to catch the cumshots
Fuck doin research.. you garbage.. why this kid in the fast lame...
coz anybody would son james.. like his middle n last name
Look at him he's dangerous? you've got to be kiddin
jesse got such a baby face... lil wayne wanna kiss him
An that ole ass hairstyle...man thats uhh somethang
When whole surfin movies could be filmed
On your wavey ass front bangs

So he stay warmin the bench... he gettin merked with ease
Only time JJ get up.. is when grant hill hurts his knees

No-Show Shine

DiZzy vs. Proof

RIP Proof
You died to soon mah dood

they popped pac, then big & now you after?
its funny. until now i thought they only shot GOOD rappers
cops rushed to the scene. saw you on the ground
yet the only decent proof,, was the bullets they found
ya crew hooked wit EM n since then u havent had big luck
the only publicity d12s had is when ya manz was on fit club
talkin street shit howd u expect seats to get filled up?
the only ngga passin the rock n detroit is,, chauncey billups
after you met 50, u got similar, both droppin bullshit
only difference is heeee could actually take a bullet

dayum this felt wrong
anyways.. im rick james bitch!

DaTrusHurtz vs. John Lennon

U wanna come back from the dead, I can here sense it
I can see it in ur eyes…it being, the sight of failure and weird lenses
Everytime I make matchups, I get ugly faggots n’ get turds
Bitch ur hair’s so Shaggy, u’d fit PERFECTLY on the cartoon network’
I listen to all kinds of music, fuck this whores dead
Hoobastank’s crawlin in the dark…u got hair crawlin’ down ur forehead
When I heard ‘bout the war, I already knew that’s wrong
I’d give peace a chance, but then I’d just make another wack son
Word’s spreadin’ to the people n’ everyone heard its true
I’ll leave ur lips so Chapman, u’ll think I’m the faggot who murdered u

Tebo vs. Frank Sinatra

Were both dead but in our lives, we both held major influence & it's a fact
People still think I'm the greatest rapper & they'de have to be drunk to feel your act
Ya born earlier & lived longer, ya definately held more cash paydays
But when dead your in the slump, cus I STILL bump in tha night.. at most places!
Both gambleing men & it paid us, but was never what we did at Los Vegas
I had my final shot there... you did too at one of them washed-up places!
Your the man who swags a suit & talented hands? Pfff your dumb
Wasn't ya music that killed ya career, it's was cigs.. by how ya sing wit one
Ya mimmick was The Voice/Piano Hands. Dre beats make Frank trash..
Shoulda followed Marilyn Monroe's gimmick & flaunted your nothin BUT ass
Outlaw on my arm, 24 carrot diamond ring, lord knows Tupac never frontin'
Only shine my buddy Frankie gots here- is them brown shit color cuff buttons!
Highway chases w/tha law, realist mothafucker ya ever saw, livin "_ _ _" yaw'll
Unfortinately you dunno what it is cus listen up bitch, ya jus' Frank, ^ Sinatra :\
Now I know you do ya'll thang, ain't nobody gonna stand up & or complain
I jus' chill, pray wit my hands - look up, form a gun & wish I could blow your brains

§howcase vs. Marvin Gaye
Heard Marvin was homo, but whatever floats your boat,
We'll see gaye parade around...trying to join the fags on floats.
Keystyle no-show verse, try? Why would I bother,
Because if I really wanted to shoot you down...I would just call your father.
Wow, that was dope and I'm not trying at all you whore,
And when you went to Britain was it a suprise everyone left before you performed?
Yea, you were that bad, so I'll completely leave you mangled dude,
Might've "heard it through the grapevine"...how I'm going to use it to strangle you.
You're horrible, but trying to beat me? You sure ain't tough,
So please just take your own advice..."You've got to give it up!"

Prycele$$ vs. Old Dirty Bastard

never had a blow didnt have wat it took in the game
but on sum real shit..
aint this the only nigga u know that look like his name?
we look at u and make the face like the first taste of gin
i mean just look.. even blind people have a hard time facin him..
his breathe kickin, he breath and dudes will suffer..
and ey thats not a grill yo, gold is his actual tooth color!
i tried to give him tips on lookin better, fine then..
wit all them damn wrinkles on his forehead he prolly inspired irons

Top Punches

So he stay warmin the bench... he gettin merked with ease
Only time JJ get up.. is when grant hill hurts his knees

10. Uncil Phil vs. Jesse James

I said you was heatless, lets hear your influential speech..or half a scream
only time anyone hear 'of MLK beatin Rosa' is if its after 'I have a dream'!

9. Lay Fear vs. Top C Krit

never had a blow didnt have wat it took in the game
but on sum real shit..
aint this the only nigga u know that look like his name?

8. Prycele$$ vs. Old Dirty Bastard

Everytime I make matchups, I get ugly faggots n’ get turds
Bitch ur hair’s so Shaggy, u’d fit PERFECTLY on the cartoon network’

7. DaTrusHurtz vs. John Lennon

they popped pac, then big & now you after?
its funny. until now i thought they only shot GOOD rappers

6. DiZzy vs. Proof

listened to ur music, its decent b
had me doin the messaround wit ya gurl since you couldnt see

5. Wireless vs. Ray Charles

you maybe a legend, but now ya band aint holding up ya name
last time anything blew up for you....the cops where cleaning fragments of ya brain

4. Phil Benjamin vs. Kurt Cobain

you loved your music, on the toilet thinkin of somethin real new
i never gave a shit, but you must of gave too much b/c it killed you

3. Popcorn vs. Elvis Pressley

Heard Marvin was homo, but whatever floats your boat,
We'll see gaye parade around...trying to join the fags on floats.

2. §howcase vs. Marvin Gaye

Look at him he's dangerous? you've got to be kiddin
jesse got such a baby face... lil wayne wanna kiss him

1. Uncil Phil vs. Jesse James

Bitch of the Week

Professor

Professor wins bitch of the week this week. He didn’t show last week out of protest. The week before, I DQ’d him for not voting and he got a loss in a battle he was winning 4-0 in. To that, I have 4 things to say:

1) The rules clearly stated that it was -2 votes per vote missing (though don’t be mistaken, that rule has now been changed to auto DQ for not voting. Still, this rule was not in effect before Professor’s battle so I went with -2 per vote)
2) I enforce links every week. I’m consistent about the rule so there’s no reason to believe I wouldn’t enforce it
3) I gave him three days to vote and submit links, and he STILL didn’t do it. THREE DAYS FOR 4 VOTES. How fucking lazy can you be.
4) He won his battle without really a solid quotable. He only won because his opponent came worse.

So in short, you are bitching about being DQ’d over a battle which u barely deserved to win in the first place, but then lost by not voting. I have no beef with you, but if you aren’t going to vote, let alone post decent verses, I don’t need you in my league.

The Boot

No One

There were a good number of candidates, but no one got the boot. I’m inclined to be lenient because the league is smaller, but soon once this league grows to the point where numbers isn’t an issue, I’m going to be booting more people. So, if u haven’t been dropping good, which applies to many of you, take your time on your verse this week and try to show improvement. As long as you show improvement, you won’t be booted from here.

Voting

Voting was great last week. Considering the number people in this league, the fact that every battle got at least 7-8 votes is pretty solid. To ensure everyone knows and there are no surprises, if u don’t vote on 4 battles, you lose, end of discussion, unless of course you PMd me an excuse beforehand and make it up by voting on 8 battles the next week. However, it seems most people have gotten this rule down and have been doing their votes so good job on that.

Power Rankings

10. Alphabetized (4-3) – Has done well in the league for the most part, but has a tough matchup this week with Mets.
9. Phil Benjamin (3-2) – Last 2 verses have been decent and is showing improvement.
8. Mets (2-1) – Signed back into the league this week. A definite threat to win the title.
7. Prycele$$ (5-4) – Has won his last few matches and is improving with each match.
6. Tony Brown (8-4) – Seems to keep climbing near the top of the ranks only to fall again, but is dropping consistently.
5. -Coop- (3-0) – Won again to improve to 3-0. Is 1 win away from making an improbable run to the champ match.
4. Uncil Phil (4-2) – Earned verse of the week last week and is doing well in the league.
3. §howcase (10-2) – Dropped a decent no-show verse last week. Should be in the contendership next week.
2. DaTrusHurtz (11-1) – Got the no-show win last week. With a win, will become the league’s first 2x champ.
1. DiZzy (5-0) – It came by no-show, but last week became the league’s 4th Champion.

Predictions

1. DiZzy (5-0) vs. 2. DaTrusHurtz (11-1)

Hmmmmmmmmmm

3. Tebo (3-3) vs. 4. -Coop- (3-0)

These guys have both won 3 battles in a row, despite still being relatively new at this rap shit. Tebo’s getting there, but –Coop- is better right now so I got him winning.

5. §howcase (10-2) vs. 6. Prycele$$ (5-4)

Prycele$$ has improved over the last few weeks, but is still more of an audio head. §howcase is more fully elevated as a text head, and even with only a sub-par effort, I don’t really see him losing. I got §howcase winning this one.

7. Uncil Phil (4-2) vs. 8. Tony Brown (8-4)

Tony Brown is 8-1 in battles not against DaTrusHurtz, lol. Even with that daunting record, I don’t quite think he’s as good as Uncil Phil. As Tony has all his RB friends to help him, that may earn some votes, but Uncil Phil’s more witty, and I think he’ll take this one.

9. Popcorn (4-4) vs. 10. Phil Benjamin (3-2)

Pretty even matchup right here. Phil is pretty bad when he half-asses, but he put forth a bit more effort last week and came much better. Popcorn is really the same way. Comes down to who wants it more, and I’m gonna say Phil does so Phil to win.

11. Civilized Gangsta (3-4) vs. 12. Lay Fear (1-0)

Should be a pretty weak battle, unfortunately given how these two have dropped in the league. I’m going with Civilized Gangsta winning, though.

13. Mets (2-1) vs. 14. Alphabetized (4-3)

Might be the best battle of the week besides the champ match. Alpha’s been doing well in the league and Mets is obviously very talented. Gotta go with Mets here.

15. Ancel (3-4) vs. 16. Artistik (0-1)

Battle of the RB heads. Ancel’s been around longer, but Artistik has been consistently at it for longer. Ancel just signed back in, but was struggling last time he was here. Artistik is only 0-1 because he didn’t vote. Gotta go with Artistik.

17. docholiday (1-2) vs. 18. Wireless (6-6)

Doc’s struggled since joining the league, he hasn’t come fresh enough. Wireless is always fresh, but with very half-assed wording that really lets his punches down. Could go either way if Wireless doesn’t put in any effort, but I’m guessing he puts in just enough to get this.

19. K.ontroverz.Y (0-1) vs. 20. Top C Krit (0-0)

K.ontroverz.Y’s been on RV for awhile though he’s struggled to really elevate. Still, he’s more elevated than Top C Krit, who didn’t come that great last week. I’m going with K.ontroverz.Y.

21. Lungz (0-0) vs. 22. Fresh Wun (0-0)

Both are new to RV. From what I saw from Lungz, he needs some work, but is better than some might expect. Fresh Wun is a dude I recruited from RM. He’s more of an audio head and not sure how he’ll do in text, but hopefully he comes fresh. I’m going with Lungz.

Outro

League is smaller this week, but that figures for less no-shows and more room for growth. If anyone wants to completely take over the mag job from me, please let me know. I love running this league, but I hate writing mags and really want someone to take this over. Anyway, come hard this week. Pz.

You aint got no wins in mi casa.

Originally Posted by Mets bring this league to beatsrhymeslife.net and i will write you mags. final offer.

CS

....for life