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Old 03-29-06, 01:44 PM   #1
-Substance-
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
 
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Posts: 2,180
From: Long Beach, CA
-Too Ill For You, Son!-

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Left Feed In:
Rey's Dreams Never Come True
Spul's This Way, That Way.



I'll Swipe You Out The Passenger Side Of Car
While I'm Servin The Shots Like Waiters At Bars!
Faded Ink, Behind Bars, Baracated To Think
Put The Game In Grave Danger And Made It Extinct!
Simple Yet Comlex With Mystical Wizardry
Picture Me, Kodak Moment....
....While I Bring Lyrical Imagery!!
Disasemble The Industry...Like It's Flexible
Chop Up It's Infantry....
...To Have Parts Laying Right Next To You!!
See My Spits Ill Like Contagious Viral Diseases
Good Genes In Me....
...Clean, Startched Up, And Stiff At The Creases!!
I Seize This, Rap Game Packed With Iffy Flows
Rhymes, Coke Lines, And Dimes In Kinky Clothes!!
Crack Spines Through The Path I Strickly Chose
I Convay Enough Brilliance To Crack Divincie Codes!!
So Back The Fuck Up, I Rip Notes Like Mad Composers
I Pack Anthrax, Hand Wrapped.....
.....So Stand Back For A Shockin' Enclosure!!
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Old 03-29-06, 08:58 PM   #2
-Substance-
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
 
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Posts: 2,180
From: Long Beach, CA
IP:

uppin for some feedback................................
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Old 03-30-06, 09:56 AM   #3
-Substance-
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
 
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Posts: 2,180
From: Long Beach, CA
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6 views and no feedback?! wtf?! it's not that hard to read a small verse.
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Old 03-30-06, 10:17 AM   #4
shoosh
New to RV
 
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nice drop son!!!
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Old 03-30-06, 10:47 PM   #5
-Substance-
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
 
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Posts: 2,180
From: Long Beach, CA
IP:

wow........that was some real deep feedback
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Old 03-31-06, 12:27 AM   #7
-Substance-
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
 
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Posts: 2,180
From: Long Beach, CA
IP:

thanks for the feedback, yeah i know the flow was a bit choppy.
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Old 03-31-06, 05:04 PM   #8
Chris Stylez
Semper Fi
 
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From: Uptown Maryland
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This was pretty decent slight above average peice. Lines were nice but maybe i need to hear it actually raped to follow through with the flow. But anyways this was pretty decent.

7/10

Rtf on my OM's linked in my sig.(Try shooting for "Back To Buisness" Or "Just Ridin Through")
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Old 04-03-06, 12:52 AM   #9
-Substance-
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
 
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Posts: 2,180
From: Long Beach, CA
IP:

aight man, thanks for the feedback.................
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Old 04-04-06, 07:48 PM   #10
B. Magik
Sam Dope
 
Posts: 3,499
From: STL
IP:

Nah man, you ain't shit.
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Old 04-04-06, 08:11 PM   #11
Precize
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 175
From: Earth
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this was pretty cool man...besides your first bar bein played..it was nice..

fav lines...
Faded Ink, Behind Bars, Baracated To Think
Put The Game In Grave Danger And Made It Extinct!

Simple Yet Comlex With Mystical Wizardry
Picture Me, Kodak Moment....
....While I Bring Lyrical Imagery!!

the rest was coo too, keep droppin man this was a nice read
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Old 04-05-06, 10:27 PM   #12
-Substance-
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
 
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Posts: 2,180
From: Long Beach, CA
IP:

thanks and ike. screw you
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Old 04-15-06, 01:34 AM   #13
B. Magik
Sam Dope
 
Posts: 3,499
From: STL
IP:

Quote:
Originally Posted by -T. Skillz-
thanks and ike. screw you



Lmfao, is that why you started shit with me? Because you think I'm Ike? News for ya buddy, I'm not Ike. Wow, you're fucking stupid.
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Old 04-15-06, 11:32 AM   #14
Elegiac
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I'll Swipe You Out The Passenger Side Of Car
While I'm Servin The Shots Like Waiters At Bars!
ehhh decent
Faded Ink, Behind Bars, Baracated To Think
Put The Game In Grave Danger And Made It Extinct!
sorta nice
Simple Yet Comlex With Mystical Wizardry
Picture Me, Kodak Moment....
....While I Bring Lyrical Imagery!!
no.. played to shit
Disasemble The Industry...Like It's Flexible
Chop Up It's Infantry....
...To Have Parts Laying Right Next To You!!
ok
See My Spits Ill Like Contagious Viral Diseases
Good Genes In Me....
...Clean, Startched Up, And Stiff At The Creases!!
lol sorta funny
I Seize This, Rap Game Packed With Iffy Flows
Rhymes, Coke Lines, And Dimes In Kinky Clothes!!
Crack Spines Through The Path I Strickly Chose
I Convay Enough Brilliance To Crack Divincie Codes!!
cool
So Back The Fuck Up, I Rip Notes Like Mad Composers
I Pack Anthrax, Hand Wrapped.....
.....So Stand Back For A Shockin' Enclosure!!
played

Overall decent drop.. good job.
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Old 04-05-06, 11:26 PM   #15
I Am Unreal.
Light Weight
 
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Posts: 327
From: Ontario
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This flowed really nicely with the way you structured it and used your wordplay. I thought alot of your similies were really basic though. Thought this piece was a great job at self glorification, if you want to brag - this is how you do it. One thing that really annoyed me - How You Capitilized Every Word. overall though i thought the piece was a pretty fun read, couldve used more complexity, but cool nonetheless.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...483#post2710483
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