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Old 08-06-07, 06:15 PM   #1
Terumoto
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Text Record: 44-10
Reviving the Dead

IP: 3223 240D

The time's nigh. I sigh, lean back and stare into the night sky.
The bats fly high. "She's mine" is the phrase relayed in my mind
Light of the full moon in lunar bloom shines into my dark room,
the faint white glow a temporary release from such harsh gloom..
Clouds obscure my view of the moon, evoking the shadows.
Pain intensifies my sorrowful ballad as I play it on a broken piano.
Why such merciless slaughter? I love nobody more than my daughter,
the clouds disperse, light returns... And there's her rotting corpse in the corner.

Tears flow, anguish comes out when I play, I can't hear notes.
If I wait any longer I might be forced to face what I fear most.
I refuse to lose her, I pick up her little body and move her
All I can do is perform the ritual and hope the gods choose her.
This is the only way to put and end to my strife,
I contemplated ending my life, I don't think it would be right.
I want to bring her back, if not for myself, then for my wife.
Outside now, I approach the ritual site and moonlight reflects off my knife.

I kiss her hand as I lay her down on the pentagram,
place the book on the center pedestal where it's meant to stand.
Spread the ancient sand to ward off beasts and demons,
throw perfumed sequins for protection to complete the sequence.
I stroke your hair, but it's brittle and dry.
I touch your cold cheeks... What happened to that cute little smile?
No life in your eyes, it makes me cry, why did you have to die?
I move your skirt so it covers your thighs, while tears drip from my eyes.

The candles burn, the pages turn, I breathe deep into my smoke-ridden lungs
Induce my trance and chant cursed verse in forbidden tongues.
As the tune of atonement is sung, the ground is beginning to shake..
Is something wrong, did I make a mistake? And if I did, is it too late?
The wind is blowing, the star drawn in blood on the ground is glowing
Now she's floating, and the spiritual commotion is growing
I have to keep going, "Gods! Have mercy on this little girl!
I am rejecting her death, please bring her back to this world!"

The thunder is loud, but the rain is cleared by morning's glory.
Silence is coming, and a small figure is standing before me.
The sun's rays adorn me with the warmth of loving and living,
but reality's scorn is hardly forgiving and something is missing...
I can see my angel, her beautiful back is turned to me,
her legs are a nice complexion, her hair is flowing perfectly.
She's really alive, she's back! I thought she was gone!
I was wrong, here she is, I approach my daughter, reborn..

I reach out to her shoulder, and place my right hand down,
she disappears, behind me I heard a sound so I turned around,
then my right arm hit the ground. She holds a katana
while indulging in reserved fits of laughter,
My daughter's body is slave to a master,
She's alive, but at what cost? I've caused a disaster.
That isn't my daughter, this demon's terror must stop!
Too bad I'm on my back, about to die from blood loss.

I stare into the sky, somehow the clouds remind me of love..
I hear warm whispers as familiar voices touch my soul from above.

There you are. I smile. "Come here and give me a hug."

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Old 08-06-07, 06:22 PM   #2
Fly-E
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THis was a decent drop it was long and interestin and flowed good nice job! Keep it up! Return the feed on my drop 'The Rode of My Life'!
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Old 08-07-07, 07:45 PM   #3
KM
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damn this was very creative and deep to....i like the whole concept....real good..... keep it up...~1~
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Old 08-08-07, 07:53 PM   #4
*~F@M3-Iz~*
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Wow....Honestly B, You May Not Think This Was Your Best Stuff...This Is The First Thing I've Seen From You.....But This Is By Far The Illest Shit I've Seen On Any Of The Sites I've Been On.....The Story Was Insane I Liked How It Transitioned Throughout The Verse.....and The Way U Spit It Was Crazy.....And This Is In All Honesty I Can't Say Nuthin Bout It Kuz Its The Best I've Seen..and Its Not Even All About The Lyrics either Its About The Story And The Way You Told It....B Eazy Homie
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Old 08-08-07, 09:45 PM   #5
Thelivingsped
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CEHEAYH DAGWS TIS SHYT WIS HAWT TWO TRAWT!

It was pretty good, I liked it, but a few tips, even though you are better then me, I can still provide them.

Don't use paragraph form when you are doing text, it makes it hard to read.

While overall it was good, the flow went well, parts just didn't seem to work for me. Like if one line ends with 'her' don't make the next line end with'her'. normally it doesn't work that well, but sometimes you can pull it off.

Good work
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