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01-25-04, 09:07 PM | #1 | ||||
-Real Time-
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Gasping For Air..
IP: FDD6 AE15
..Flip Clocks, Tick Tock, Time Never Stops.. ..Why Skip Talk, When Reality Never Drops?.. ..Mindfully Tear, A Heart Baren In Chains.. ..As Men With No Fear, Will Feel No Pain.. ..There Is Young Man, Not Tall Nor Short.. ..This Is How It Began, Not Sweet Nor Tort.. ..No Children To Love, Nothing To Relish.. ..No Darling To Hug, Life Almost Hellish.. ..In Love One Day, Fallen Out Of The Next.. ..Hearts Gone Astray, To Beleive In The Rest.. ..One Prayer Answered, The Great Love Found.. ..Life Flows On, In The Same River He Drowns.. ..In Awe Of Beauty, His One Love Not Then.. ..Decision To Duty, Overlooked By Most Men.. ..Confidence Risen, In Love With Himself.. ..Metaphorical Prison, The Hand He Was Dealt.. ..Two People Were One, And One Person Less.. ..One Person Was None, For He Could Care Less.. ..Medication Ignored, For It Was Not Needed.. ..Love Of The Lord, Was All For He Pleaded.. ..One Day He Awoke, But He Was Not There.. ..He Always Leaves Himself, Gasping For Air.. |
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01-26-04, 07:14 AM | #2 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 6F9E F23B
sounded kinda poetic a bit... quite a simple approach, but carried well i thought, liked the multis, it added to the flow of the peice... thought the bars were a bit short, it seemed to create little paused, when reading it... but other than that nice drop.....
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01-26-04, 09:40 AM | #3 | |||||||
[.Eclipse.]
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IP: 6588 491C
^^^ lol the fuck u talkin bout Dez?
The metaphors in this piece were the truth. 10/10. The best open mic I've read today definately. In a while probably. Metaphors, personification, wordplay. It had it all. Deep. I cant believe Dez said simple... seems like he's saying the same reply for all open mics he replies to. This was the truth.
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01-26-04, 09:44 AM | #4 | |||
Mona Lisa.
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IP: 4E62 F14F
^^^^thats becoz he's called Dev not Dez
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