Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
05-22-05, 04:21 PM | #1 | |||||||
New to RV
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Yo Check It Out
IP: 28AD 5545
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2168064
Alright here is some of my ex-bf's ryhmes that he wrote for me. I think that he is good and he deserves to be recgonized. So check it out and tell me what ya'll think: 1.) I've been thinkin about you again Thought of you on my mind neva end It's just the many times we spent When I hear that laugh and see that smile I'm happy knowin that I put that there Findin a love like ours is so rare Even a thousand years from now I'll be there 2.) Every step I take and every breath I take Think of you before I sleep and wake Visions of you haunt my memories Time will only show we are ment to be Wit you by my side there is nothin I can't do I'll do almost anything you ask me too Wanna make love wit u althrough the night Can't wait till you be my wife 3.) I can tell workin out is your hobby When I think of you I think fo J-LO in the lobby When I looked at your direction I thought you where the defenition of perfection Thats why I adore you I knew I wanted you the first minute I saw you I am luckt to find a women just a loyal 4.) Girlm I just want to look into ya eyes And watch the sunrise No more lies, no more tears to cry No more reasons for leave You I belive in I'll love you till the day I stop breathin, I love ya girl 5.) My heart can't take no more Wounds that I feel till this day are still sore But you have come into my life and took away the hurt People say love don't cost a thing, you don't know how much your worth I like it when ya call me honey With your smile you can make my rainy days sunny When ya say ya love me I love ya more My heart no longer aches no long does it sore When ya say your thinking of me to I'm probably lookin at ya picture think of you On a scale fo 1-10 I'll give ya a 30 If I get enionally attached please don't hurt me 6.) To my girl with much luv Close my eyes and reminiscing all the times we hugged Luv everythin about ya ta the way ya say things the way u look Girl u like a drug u got me hooked I luv u hope u feel the same way too This rhyme was just written just for you I brought ya the laughs and the tears I just hope our luv will last a thousand years Tell me what ya'll think |
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05-22-05, 05:11 PM | #2 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 28AD 5545
Uppin for feedback
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05-22-05, 05:23 PM | #3 | |||||||
==bLaCk-HanD==
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IP: 3267 CADC
Hey Okay Diz Wuz Pretty Deep & Emotional But Yo Sme Linez Wuz Way Short Dat Iz Not Good An Also U Had 6 Seperate Verses Or Sumthan Try Making It Shorter And Getting 2 Da Point Quicker But Itz Not Dat Bad U Got My Proppz BabyGurl
__________________
==I Don't Rhyme, I Just Explain Shit Real Good==
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05-22-05, 05:43 PM | #4 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 0825 899A
ok first thing, I didn't write dat, my x wrote it
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05-22-05, 07:36 PM | #5 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 0825 899A
Come on Uppin For Feedback here
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05-22-05, 10:57 PM | #6 | ||||
Don't Even Think About It
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IP: 7402 AF51
Way too basic. Tell him to up the vocab and creativity and it'll be halfway decent. This needs serious elevation
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