To much corruption in the world today/
everyone thinking it's a game to play/
through your dismay and all your perception/
all your gonna learn is a life long lesson/
pressing so hard to make you all learn/
everything keeps going, and you'll all burn/
here we go, your stomach starts churning/
now it's time to make urself an earning/
during the time you learn on your own/
seeing this world isn't like home/
seeing the deals happen on the streets/
these piggies making ends meat/
This worlds shot, don't ask why/
just worry bout yourself and try not to die

uuumm...SUPER SHORT lol, but for a newbie it was iight, you gotta elavate though....try an make summin bigger more complex...t had meaning but you can do better...juz keep trying peace

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

Dawg as he said a good attempt for a new kat,yo try and use relevant wordplay and some nice vocab,maybe throw in a multi or two,it did flow and i did know what the message was here,as i said it was a descent attempt for a new dawg,jus keep it up and try and improve.

Hit me up.

Peace