Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
10-17-05, 09:56 PM | #1 | |||||||
New to RV
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stressful days
IP: 1078 6117
all these days that pass me by
im streesed out searching for that high but somehow its not to be found sitting here quite not makeing a sound i relize that im not at my peak with these poetic theories that i speak cant take no more its impossible it seem like the stress is unstoppable never saying or doing the right thing at times all i wanna do is sing but its allways a put down i recive tearing me up inside, now i dont belive now i feel like i'll never know sucess cant do anything to over power this stress theres a deep pain inside my chest only understand this i'm not the best i must confess...............
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10-17-05, 09:57 PM | #2 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 1078 6117
i want some feedback on this thanx................
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10-17-05, 10:30 PM | #3 | |||
1926
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IP: 0825 899A
Pm Two Links To Have This Re-Opened.
*Closed* |
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10-19-05, 02:12 PM | #4 | |||
1926
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IP: 0825 899A
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10-19-05, 03:23 PM | #5 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 7419 CC76
only understand this i'm not the best
i must confess............... ^I think the last lines kinda sum it uo, they express the vulnerability and doubt that was the underlying tone of this poem. Maybe the vocabulary and overall wordings can be improved, add more of a poetic sense to them. But you have potential nonetheless, you know how to put emotion in it and such. Imagery can be worked on as well. Keep writing
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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10-21-05, 10:22 PM | #6 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 1078 6117
thanx for the feed............uppin for some more.................
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