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Old 02-04-04, 12:27 AM   #1
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The Ugliest Beauty

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the seduction of destruction overbearing like most
emotions within corruption, the abduction of hope
its a koliediscope of colors blending in with themselves
blind minds eye gropes for the fault of tears to fill wells
ego swells, as she begins believing in her own deception
breaking mirrors, cutting skin, decieving her own reflection
no protection, her enemys launch attacks from with-in
her narcicistic obsessions just subtract from her friends
her eyes condemn the beauty seen by the rest of the world
feeling like shapeless granite, but viewed as the perfect pearl
shes the girl who's animosity for herself was her own demise
hurling over fingers in her throat,mixed with excessive excercise
how long can one survive with issues buried deep within the core
with eyes that only derive whats optical, and never seeing more...

Last edited by SplitSouL : 02-05-04 at 12:00 AM.
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Old 02-04-04, 12:36 AM   #2
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Hmm~~~good stuff...short and nice..good content..good imagery..good wordplay..everything was all good~~~~
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Old 02-04-04, 12:37 AM   #3
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thank you much
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Old 02-04-04, 04:30 PM   #4
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uppin
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Old 02-04-04, 05:18 PM   #5
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I Was Feelin' This Man. . Content Was Great. . Topic Was Good. . Multi's Were Ill, Flow Stayed On-Point. . Imagery Was How It Needed To Be. . Just Right. . Title Was Even Dope, That's Why I Chose To Read It, Heh. . Like Pen Said. . Everything Was All Good. . Nice Drop. . Pz.

her eyes condemn the beauty seen by the rest of the world
feeling like shapeless granite, but viewed as the perfect pearl
^ ^ Dope, Imagery In The Second Line Was Great, As Was The Comparison.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112015
^ ^ Hit This Up. . Thanks.
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Old 02-04-04, 05:52 PM   #6
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the ugliest beauty, wot r u on
the days of the fairy tale hav now all gone
i no u might think ur around teenage
but ur body is tellin u its 2 late for ur brain
if ur wonderin wot the hell, from thaty i dont no balls
quoite simply im tellin u, u no f*** all
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Old 02-04-04, 06:51 PM   #7
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^that made no sense,

thank you formula, i will reply to yours right now
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Old 02-04-04, 07:11 PM   #8
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aww split soul that was deep, i really enjoyed reading the Ugliest beauty, u graced the threads with such emotion in the verse it was simply ill, describing a person maybe a certain some one, but i can also sense some pain in to it too.
mad love and the joint was dope ! ONE~

Last edited by BluMami : 02-04-04 at 07:13 PM. Reason: no reason
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Old 02-04-04, 08:41 PM   #9
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whoa...this was really ill man.
the flow was flawless, first of all, I whipped right through it.
Your use of internal rhyming was really really good.
your format is basic, but it makes for a nice read.
the topic was a little bit played, but you titled it originally, which is cool.
Your wordplay was nice, i really liked it.
You managed to touch on all the aspects while still keeping the piece short.
I think you might want to put a bit more of a spin on things so that it makes the read more interesting, and try to make your writers voice stronger, because that way it will leave more of an impact on readers.
respect.
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Old 02-05-04, 12:00 AM   #10
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thank you very much maven, any more?
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Old 02-05-04, 12:57 AM   #11
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Had to say this was mad dope and unfortunately true about many females these days they always think low of themselves...fuckin tight topic man. Your multis were always there every 2 bars or somethin wasnt it? That kept it goin, the flow was good, the vocab was dressed to impress haha...8/10 keep it up
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Old 02-05-04, 02:58 PM   #12
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the last upp...
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Old 02-08-04, 11:35 PM   #13
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^^I lied...
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Old 02-08-04, 11:43 PM   #14
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dope as heck. i enjoyed that one. seriously. near perfect if you ask me. i don't
know if i could have done it better myself. one of the best i've read. you sure
know how to write. lol. seriously though, it was near flawless, one of my favorites.
keep at it man. i love the topic too.

hit this up in return plz:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457

pz
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Old 02-08-04, 11:55 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penskills
Hmm~~~good stuff...short and nice..good content..good imagery..good wordplay..everything was all good~~~~



yep... on point about dis one...ish was killer nice... u droppin nice ish... i like yo reads... you keep me on the eye... inspirational... lol... your my mentor... LMFAO..jk... but it was on point... on every level... Nice Dunny

Caesar - On3
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