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02-04-04, 12:27 AM | #1 | |||||||
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The Ugliest Beauty
IP: EC0B 84C7
the seduction of destruction overbearing like most emotions within corruption, the abduction of hope its a koliediscope of colors blending in with themselves blind minds eye gropes for the fault of tears to fill wells ego swells, as she begins believing in her own deception breaking mirrors, cutting skin, decieving her own reflection no protection, her enemys launch attacks from with-in her narcicistic obsessions just subtract from her friends her eyes condemn the beauty seen by the rest of the world feeling like shapeless granite, but viewed as the perfect pearl shes the girl who's animosity for herself was her own demise hurling over fingers in her throat,mixed with excessive excercise how long can one survive with issues buried deep within the core with eyes that only derive whats optical, and never seeing more... Last edited by SplitSouL : 02-05-04 at 12:00 AM. |
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02-04-04, 12:36 AM | #2 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Hmm~~~good stuff...short and nice..good content..good imagery..good wordplay..everything was all good~~~~
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02-04-04, 12:37 AM | #3 | |||||||
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IP: EC0B 84C7
thank you much
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02-04-04, 04:30 PM | #4 | |||||||
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IP: EC0B 84C7
uppin
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02-04-04, 05:18 PM | #5 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: E38C 4580
I Was Feelin' This Man. . Content Was Great. . Topic Was Good. . Multi's Were Ill, Flow Stayed On-Point. . Imagery Was How It Needed To Be. . Just Right. . Title Was Even Dope, That's Why I Chose To Read It, Heh. . Like Pen Said. . Everything Was All Good. . Nice Drop. . Pz.
her eyes condemn the beauty seen by the rest of the world feeling like shapeless granite, but viewed as the perfect pearl ^ ^ Dope, Imagery In The Second Line Was Great, As Was The Comparison. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112015 ^ ^ Hit This Up. . Thanks.
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02-04-04, 05:52 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: 072B 152E
the ugliest beauty, wot r u on
the days of the fairy tale hav now all gone i no u might think ur around teenage but ur body is tellin u its 2 late for ur brain if ur wonderin wot the hell, from thaty i dont no balls quoite simply im tellin u, u no f*** all |
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02-04-04, 06:51 PM | #7 | |||||||
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IP: EC0B 84C7
^that made no sense,
thank you formula, i will reply to yours right now |
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02-04-04, 07:11 PM | #8 | ||||
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IP: 80EF 45DD
aww split soul that was deep, i really enjoyed reading the Ugliest beauty, u graced the threads with such emotion in the verse it was simply ill, describing a person maybe a certain some one, but i can also sense some pain in to it too.
mad love and the joint was dope ! ONE~ Last edited by BluMami : 02-04-04 at 07:13 PM. Reason: no reason |
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02-04-04, 08:41 PM | #9 | |||
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IP: A9A7 727D
whoa...this was really ill man.
the flow was flawless, first of all, I whipped right through it. Your use of internal rhyming was really really good. your format is basic, but it makes for a nice read. the topic was a little bit played, but you titled it originally, which is cool. Your wordplay was nice, i really liked it. You managed to touch on all the aspects while still keeping the piece short. I think you might want to put a bit more of a spin on things so that it makes the read more interesting, and try to make your writers voice stronger, because that way it will leave more of an impact on readers. respect.
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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02-05-04, 12:00 AM | #10 | |||||||
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IP: EC0B 84C7
thank you very much maven, any more?
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02-05-04, 12:57 AM | #11 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 6301 79A8
Had to say this was mad dope and unfortunately true about many females these days they always think low of themselves...fuckin tight topic man. Your multis were always there every 2 bars or somethin wasnt it? That kept it goin, the flow was good, the vocab was dressed to impress haha...8/10 keep it up
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02-05-04, 02:58 PM | #12 | |||||||
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IP: EC0B 84C7
the last upp...
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02-08-04, 11:35 PM | #13 | |||||||
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IP: EC0B 84C7
^^I lied...
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02-08-04, 11:43 PM | #14 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: EC0B 84C7
dope as heck. i enjoyed that one. seriously. near perfect if you ask me. i don't
know if i could have done it better myself. one of the best i've read. you sure know how to write. lol. seriously though, it was near flawless, one of my favorites. keep at it man. i love the topic too. hit this up in return plz: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457 pz
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02-08-04, 11:55 PM | #15 | ||||||||
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IP: 202C A952
Quote:
yep... on point about dis one...ish was killer nice... u droppin nice ish... i like yo reads... you keep me on the eye... inspirational... lol... your my mentor... LMFAO..jk... but it was on point... on every level... Nice Dunny Caesar - On3
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