Battle Rules:

6 - 18 lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

3-0 tko
4-1 tko

all votes will be returned

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 07-26-06 at 01:23 PM

Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in.


Win by 3-0 KO

Oz. has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-25-06 01:33 PM.

Nigga you weak..they call U a "bubble wand" The way U Get "Blown Thru"
Thought U was "bigger than words" how you let the "apostrophe Own You"
Niggas should call you "letoya luckette" bcuz you ass always gettin "torn"
You too easy o beat look how you just get "fucked over" like "Porn Stars"
You could say this battle is your funeral the 5 votes is just your Burial
Nigga didnt wanna loose to me so he decided to read the RV Tutorial !!
This battle is in The FL today, it'll be in the battle archives tommorow
With Oz. as the Victor, while Mystic continues to drown In Sorrow.
Man You jus fill the Hate meter when you talk Like Blood does Ticz
Only time you ever "beat" someone was when U had a "Hand full of dicks"
99% of RV Know that I aint Talkin Bout No Damn Sportin store
RV saw yo Mom with Kobe bryant ..sorry she has to be a sportin whore

Quickie

__________________

One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*

Mystic. has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-04-06 12:30 PM.

...................................Dont no show.............................nayega

__________________

One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*

OZ. pay attention, cuz you'll never live up to my work
put ya dick to the screen you still can’t fuck with my verse
You suck its that simple and you act like ya shit is too sick
When you couldn’t hang wit my punches if you tied a rope to my fist
Dawg its hopeless so quit, I think im feelin hate from this cat
Oz. is 'hooked' on phonics but skills not what we de 'bait' with this fag
Your 'Press' dont enlight nuttin, 'I Dent' yo shit....its straight ass
You got a 'government' flow n I'd still 'senate' str8 to the trash
I dont need a big personal...cuz you cant punch back the same
So ill just sit back and laugh...while u put acuracy to your 'aimez'

__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME

upping for votes ppl lets get thhis ova with.............................................. .......................

__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME

Voted For: Mystic.

Nigga you weak..they call U a "bubble wand" The way U Get "Blown Thru"
Thought U was "bigger than words" how you let the "apostrophe Own You"
this was ok, but ure forcin shit man..
Niggas should call you "letoya luckette" bcuz you ass always gettin "torn"
You too easy o beat look how you just get "fucked over" like "Porn Stars"
again forced, and "like" punches are played out..
You could say this battle is your funeral the 5 votes is just your Burial
Nigga didnt wanna loose to me so he decided to read the RV Tutorial !!
fuck... this is wack..
This battle is in The FL today, it'll be in the battle archives tommorow
With Oz. as the Victor, while Mystic continues to drown In Sorrow.
what the fuck... NO!!
Man You jus fill the Hate meter when you talk Like Blood does Ticz
Only time you ever "beat" someone was when U had a "Hand full of dicks"
played, forced...
99% of RV Know that I aint Talkin Bout No Damn Sportin store
RV saw yo Mom with Kobe bryant ..sorry she has to be a sportin whore
concept was ok.. wording was wack.. and the way you executed the punch was turd..

VS.

OZ. pay attention, cuz you'll never live up to my work
put ya dick to the screen you still can’t fuck with my verse
huh.. this is weak..
You suck its that simple and you act like ya shit is too sick
When you couldn’t hang wit my punches if you tied a rope to my fist
this was ok, a little played..
Dawg its hopeless so quit, I think im feelin hate from this cat
Oz. is 'hooked' on phonics but skills not what we de 'bait' with this fag
umm, NO!!
Your 'Press' dont enlight nuttin, 'I Dent' yo shit....its straight ass
You got a 'government' flow n I'd still 'senate' str8 to the trash
wordplay was aight, but forced..
I dont need a big personal...cuz you cant punch back the same
So ill just sit back and laugh...while u put acuracy to your 'aimez'
not bad.. cud be better



Ok, I am going to give this to Mystic. Basically he had more of what I like to call "REAL" punches. Oz did a little self-glorifying in his verse and dropped some mad played shit. And let me just say, the forced structure ain't working. That shit is mad wack. And you are forcing shit. I won't go into great deal, but overall Mystic had the better verse as he spent more time and effort in dissing the opponent.

V/ - Mystic

__________________

Now, let me educate you all. I am trying to help niggaz elevate and shit.

This may come across as long, but I'm only trying to help. So take the time and read it, word.


- Forced Structure
Let me just say that both of you still have it. Mystic has loosened his up a bit, but it is still forced in my eyes, and Oz. is using it like crazy. I know it may be a style you are used to, but you got to switch it up. Honestly, nobody is feeling that shit anymore. Don't be worried about people complaining about your shit because lines are all over the place. Basically, write your punch and then read it through. If it flows well then it will work. Do not cut and chop at it so that it is perfectly structured because more often than not you will make the flow seem choppy.

- Forced Wordplay
Both of you did this. I'm going to be straight, if you are forcing your shit then it is gay. Plain and simple. You can not be putting speechmarks or apostrophes or anything around your shit to emphasise it. A voter should not have to be forcefully shown the wordplay, they should be able to recognise it without being shown. That is the true sign of dope wordplay. So, drop the speechmarks/apostrophes shit.

- Played Concepts
Right, you should basically know the majority of mad played concepts like MJ lines, and sick lines, hot lines... etc, etc. The reason I am addressing this is mainly because of Oz. You used a "like" line which is fucking gay as fuck now. If you ever write a line and realise that it will only work by saying "blah blah blah, like a blah blah blah" you get the idea... if you have to use the word like in that context, then fucking drop the punch from your verse.

- Relevant Setups
Aight, this is aimed at both. You both dropped punches that did not have relevant setups at all. Now, this can be gotten around. If you can not come up with a relevant setup, then drop something like..

"I'm bashing through, with knives and bats to splatter.."

.. as your setup. Do not try and throw a diss in each line because it is fucking gay and herb like. The 2nd line is the punchline, NOT the first line. If you can get a relevant setup to the punch then you are smoking. Even if it is only the slightest thing, like if you were dropping a homeless punch (my specialty) you need only call the dude a "hobo" or something in the setup and it would work.

EXAMPLE:
You fucking hobo.. I come thick with the grind..
So next time ya wanna kickbox with me, I suggest leavin' ya homes behind.

^ That is just a quick example, not the best. But it still comes off better than..

This kid is bullshit, he gets torn so much he could topple a porn stars clout
And fuck, if you wanna kickbox with me, don't fucking bring your house.

^ Dissing in both bars, it is gay... and the 1st line just doesn't work with the second, feel me.


Those are some of the basics you both should work on. If you need any further help with personals, punches, flipping shit... then hit me with a pm dropping your AIM or MSN details and I'll school you on some elevated shit. Nah'mean!!

wow thanks a lot dude i appreciate all the feed a lot....1-0 me ...upping

__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME

uppin............................................. .............................for votes

__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME

.................................................. .....................

__________________

One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*

Yeah um Wateva.............................Uppin.......... .......

__________________

One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*

^w/e at wut?...shit was explained to the max dont complain lol.

__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME