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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
11-02-05, 04:01 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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Goodbye, Mr Hyde.
IP: 21ED 60C1
Goodbye, Mr Hyde.
Deepness, creepily my only weakness to flow to… The darkness sealing my parse, least green grass seems to grow through… Density of duplicity, my separate represent hides his face, Shadows displaced, misplaced fate divided my paced state… Killing with a guilty neck weight, thrilled to be in filthy check mate, Billing my next - faintly whim in the husky scent of my next date… Biding my time, ticking over sublime rhymes to speak my mind, Riding on crime, invisible to justice - oozing prime signs of benign, Stomach reeling to bust; crusty creations crave to come out untouched, Breezy I am in my lust, wanting daunting thoughts to vacate as much… My mirrored identity, invents in me a mentality sprouting dents in me, Screaming to breathe, simmered in lentil leaves - my calm face floored by immense unease.. Drench me please - entrenched in torn thoughts born from a tall sport.. Trying to keep my own and retort - bought me an untaught line to a small court, Hating my inner sinner, still trimmer in a perfect parody of evil pie… Hating I, even whimper to sigh, of my treason to sympathy - he will cry.. Hiding aside, confide brighter thoughts to his lugubrious sides bridle.. Siding with pride, I switch minds and invite lies while I sidle illustrious but idle.. Hobby of cry wolf, my chin may skulk in a grey bulk, I fly south to a blistered tide, Dual morality fried… I hold my mind against the barrel as I say goodbye to Mr Hyde. Mature criticism please. Some complex vocab, but if you read properly then you'll see that every line sticks to the topic. Just ask if you need more explanation on the topic. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2521203 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2521208 |
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11-02-05, 08:40 PM
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#2
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I Chill in Asylums
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IP: 448F 3D8E
Nice, i really liked it. To me if flowed very well, i tripped over a couple words but i got a dictionary handy so it was all good. Imagery was very good. Structure i thought was good and overall it was a nice piece. 9/10. Peace.
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11-03-05, 07:27 AM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: ECB3 36A0
Thanks, now nominate me
 Uppin for more feed. |
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