RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-08-05, 04:39 PM   #1
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
uncomparible

IP: F4CB 9C09

HOOK:
what u seein' is uncomparable,
all these other rapperz are just so terrible
so much that they're unbearible
u were a hit, sure
atleast til' i came into da picture


VERSE:
all u rapperz do is babble on
til' one day u turn da rap channel on
and all u see is a rapper that's inspired by ludacris and J-Kwon
and guess who dat rapper be,
dat rapper defitnly be me
and i'm so hungry that i'll do anythin'
pay attention cuz there's no way i'll forget to mention
i spit verses dat release all ur tention
even if i do spend all my time in school detention
i'm nuthin but trouble
cuz i stunt more than a stunt double
and i'm bout to blow up bigger than a cunt bubble
but let's put all the trouble behind me
cuz i'm lookin fo' a contract to sign me


HOOK:
what u seein' is uncomparable
all these rapperz are so terrible
that they're unbearible
u were a hit, sure
atleast til' i came into da picture
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 04:56 PM   #2
Tha Unknown (Uk)
Welcome 2 Dope South
 
Tha Unknown (Uk)'s Avatar
 
Posts: 464
Joined: Jul 2004
From: Cashville,Ten-A-Key
Status: Offline
IP: 0825 899A

nice drop.......................keep bring dat strong shit
Send a message via Yahoo to Tha Unknown (Uk)   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 05:39 PM   #3
Kawn Flixx
FUCK STROBE
 
Kawn Flixx's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,115
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 70-13
IP: 28AD 5545

aight, you did some things right and some wrong
1st,I like anyone who loves rap enough to do an open mic..
so I'm actually proud of you and your crew for doin OM's

2nd..just fix your structure..try changing the font
and centering it..thats what I do...

big ups to you and LNL

3rd..just re word some of your lines
you used som ok phrases..but use more emotion
and I'll admit the cunt bubble line was funny
so you didn't do too bad..and plus your new

ps..
__________________
The Competition


Send a message via AIM to Kawn Flixx Send a message via MSN to Kawn Flixx   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 05:40 PM   #4
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 11-0
Audio Record: 2-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 838B 916B

ok drop, some all right rhyme's in this. flow could be a bit better by evening your structure a bit.

wasnt feeling this line.

and i'm bout to blow up bigger than a cunt bubble.


this was funny, yet you drop was on a mor serious note. try using multi's.refer to tutorial's,one man band multi section)

overall 6/10

keep dropping.
remeber to add you link's other wise this will get closed.
return the feed check the link in sig.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 05:45 PM   #5
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F4CB 9C09

kool thanx fo da tip homies i'll try to follow what u told me i do this mostly for the feedback as u can tell so it helps me alot when i get some escpecially when it's more deeper than a simple it was good and shit like that keep up tha tips and feedback and u'll leave me a more talented rapper every time
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 06:13 PM   #6
Da Future
New to RV
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Dec 2004
From: Straight Outta M-Block.Brooklyn,New York
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
IP: 2D1D 0D26

That Shit Was Sick.Keep It Up.
__________________





Brooklyn Stand Up...M-Block 4 Life...
Send a message via Yahoo to Da Future   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 07:22 PM   #7
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F4CB 9C09

uppin fo' feedback playaz
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 07:29 PM   #8
-RIOT-
New to RV
 
-RIOT-'s Avatar
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Jan 2005
From: Detroit, MI (da murda mit)
Status: Offline
IP: 7696 4EB2

yo, all i can say is.....to me it seems like you missin like 2 lines at tha end.....in otha words, you got 14/16 lines here.....but it was cool witout i guess.....6/10 keep it up 4real
__________________
Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.


  Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 08:39 PM   #9
Young Mix
New to RV
 
Young Mix's Avatar
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Sep 2004
From: Da Nati
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-8
IP: 6462 2169

Dis was nice but to me,it seemed like ya hook and verse didnt go together
dat much.But it was still hot.I really wanna hear da beat to this
Keep it up

Young Mix
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-05, 08:48 PM   #10
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F4CB 9C09

yo thanx man i was thinkin da same thing earlier but that's ok both still kick ass
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-05, 01:49 AM   #11
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F4CB 9C09

c'mon now keep up da good feedback
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-05, 02:28 PM   #12
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
Mentor's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,177
Joined: Dec 2004
From: your walkman
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-11
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F4CB 9C09

let's get some more feedback
Send a message via AIM to Mentor Send a message via MSN to Mentor   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:22 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.