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07-12-02, 09:48 AM | #1 | ||||||
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*Release*
IP: 1343 3FF2
Remove my breath/
My power to speak/ My preferance death/ Than to be so weak/ How your love proclaims/ Of stars to line my sky/ But powerful it does maim/ As I watch my love fly/ Incaipable to flollow/ so my grasp must release/ my full heart now hollow/ As I pray for peace/ Your words of love to actions contradict/ As wounds deep with salty tears burn/ Ending sudden & unable to predict/ Come home soon my love, I pray your safe return... ..."You were my lesson I had to learn, I was your fortress you had to burn..." |
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07-12-02, 12:43 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 1636 8BC9
and as usual another good poem. and i really understand wut ur talkin bout on dis one!! lol. im genius! and so are your poetic skillz. like i will always say: keep it up. i luv ya girl!
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07-12-02, 01:56 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: F564 0E15
i loved this peice... i know how this feels and u described that feeling wonderfully... the flow was amazin, the vocab was aweosme, and the emotions were deep, heartfelt and tru... fave lines:
How your love proclaims/ Of stars to line my sky/ But powerful it does maim/ As I watch my love fly/ Incaipable to flollow/ so my grasp must release/ my full heart now hollow/ i know thats about 1/2 the poem, but i loved it! hehe, keep it flowin |
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07-13-02, 04:36 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 1343 3FF2
aight y'all foreva sleepin on some one!!
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07-14-02, 01:57 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: F8DE F595
hey...what can i say....such few words....yet so much said...in a pure emotional like way....if i'm reading this right...then..... - an eagle is never true, when it is caged, you must let it spread its wings, and soar through the skies...facing many dangers..as well as seeing many sights...but in the end it shall always be true to itself and you...whether in love or respect.....this is the way of the eagle so free - ....ya dig?...
....respect... |
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07-14-02, 03:43 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: ADEC 56AC
yo ma u no i neva sleep on a DYMEPIECE!!! but dis shyt was poppin. keep it commin. 1luv peace
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07-14-02, 06:29 PM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: 1343 3FF2
Thanx for tha luv!! yeah you read it right thanx for tha words too
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07-19-02, 09:25 AM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: CED0 32B8
Tight ish ...
But i think u should end the bars where it flows feel me? Eg > Remove my breath, My power to speak - My preferance death - Than to be so weak/ Or maybe put parts in bold or sumtin, coz dis can mos def be "open mic spit" if u put it in tha right rhyme`n / flow way nah mean ... Pz ~1~ |
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