RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 08-23-05, 04:48 AM   #1
Paranoid
The Paragraph President
 
Paranoid's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,248
Joined: Apr 2005
From: Sask, Canada
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 2-1
Frustrated Intensions

IP: D25C B392

Frustrated Intensions
..Enough of these tough guy’s given me frustration
If you livin my situation, and don’t fill in my temptation..
With a hectic fatality, just give me a technic mentality
So I can conflict it back, no more pain in my reality..

Lots of people be attackin me, so I show retaliation
And then flow desperation, by controllin low fascination
I don’t fate, and I wont state a unknown fact..
But I do know, I’m obsessed with a un shown stat
Limited by minimum selection, now I feel more intoxicated
Do I live to be hated? Or should I steal the recriminated
Now its back to these mirrors, when I freeze clearer
And still I cant ease terror, so I say come nearer
No more Mr. Nice, so my attitude went crazily rank
So I’m pronounced easily blank, yet I’m dizzily pranked
And still I be puttin cats in surgery wit out a permit
I could shout a legit reason, but I’m only about to make it
These people can make a decision, I’ll sake a vision..
For a perfect mission, fightin and to not fake a precision

..Confused by my enemies list, but granted policy
So I continued to attack, and I never planted privacy..

Eventually I thought I’d get caught, and locked in bars
Never was I blocked by stars, but I was shocked by scars
So I lost aspiration, in hesitation so I felt invisibility
My mind mixed up, and yet I never dealt responsibility
But people gotta talk, so a lot walk wit a limitation
So I wanted to hunt and kill, then skip a presentation
Yet I was never hidden, never forbidden but transparent
A Parallel universe, contradicts and predicts my apparent
Then in disappearance, I’m gone in a long resistance
And still I have a strong subsistence to wrong assistance
By conflicting pain, I create such a restricting shame
As my strength gets harder, I’m constricting fame

..Enough of these tough guy’s given me frustration
If you livin my situation, and don’t fill in my temptation..
With a hectic fatality, just give me a technic mentality
So I can conflict it back, no more pain in my reality..
__________________
I don't jack beats; I borrow them.



My Myspace
My Soundclick

Last edited by Paranoid : 08-23-05 at 04:54 AM.
Send a message via AIM to Paranoid Send a message via MSN to Paranoid   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-05, 04:53 AM   #2
Paranoid
The Paragraph President
 
Paranoid's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,248
Joined: Apr 2005
From: Sask, Canada
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 2-1
IP: D25C B392

__________________
I don't jack beats; I borrow them.



My Myspace
My Soundclick
Send a message via AIM to Paranoid Send a message via MSN to Paranoid   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-05, 05:03 AM   #3
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
DQ's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,675
Joined: Feb 2004
From: Alosta City
Status: Offline
IP: CC9A 0ACF

Nice piece, overall a good interesting concept that allows you to work it out in your own way. The emotion was definitely there, I had this feeling it was written straight from the heart. The flow was good, overall it remained solid throughout the entire piece. You had a good balance in your vocabulary: it wasn't too basic yet not too complex either you know.

Keep it up!
__________________


Authentik Intelligence





...The future is mine...

Send a message via AIM to DQ Send a message via MSN to DQ Send a message via Yahoo to DQ   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-05, 07:58 PM   #4
Sik Wit It
 
Posts: 5,817
Joined: May 2004
From: Florida
Status: Offline
IP: BAC1 8D68

Word-dillio... this shit here was pretty nice... had the emotions up in there...
...good vocab. (since some peeps can't spell here)... flow was aight here
but overall... this piece was cool
__________________
..The Council..
7 Day Theory
  Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-05, 02:12 AM   #5
Triple_N
Ya mom massages my nuts
 
Triple_N's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,991
Joined: Mar 2004
From: Queens, NY
Status: Offline
Text Record: 44-19
Audio Record: 6-1
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: C3CE 96D1

good deep storyline...the emotion of it was the highlight.....lyrically it was ok...you coulda been more metaphorical with it...I didn't like your direct approach but it was a emotional piece..it developed well..good structure...flowed well....coulda changed up rhyme scheme some but not big deal...overal solid drop...keep it up
__________________
Haters spend all they time hating on another's life
Then wonder why when presenting there's to others...no one looks twice
Because at the end of the day, you get what you give
So, when you consumed with his...don't get mad when everyone else is
Send a message via AIM to Triple_N   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-05, 03:08 AM   #6
L.E
L.E
 
L.E's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,000
Joined: Jan 2004
From: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Status: Offline
IP: DB16 D9CD

This was pretty good man...I liked your emotion on this one for sure. A nice flow to it, good vocab...I thought the vocab was good the way you made it so it was more believable such as comnig from a real person...so word. I like this shit man...keep it up
__________________
Soundclick
NEW Myspace
Send a message via AIM to L.E Send a message via MSN to L.E   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-05, 01:51 PM   #7
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
Joined: Jan 2005
From: Adanac
Status: Offline
Graphics Record: 1-0
IP: 9E2F CDE8

ehh, i have to say, i wasn't really feeling the rhyming on this one, i felt it took away alot from the overall message being thrown across; i thought you rhymed a whole bunch of words that seemed outta place, they didn't really fit context, in some places

but, it was good, i think the way you wrote this, would have been alot better to do in audio, just because of your rhyme scheme......hmm, original, which is good, keep up, not your best, but still enjoyable

Then in disappearance, I’m gone in a long resistance
And still I have a strong subsistence to wrong assistance
By conflicting pain, I create such a restricting shame
As my strength gets harder, I’m constricting fame

ending was solid, keep up.
__________________



this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish



FLY FREE
Send a message via AIM to Germ Send a message via MSN to Germ   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-05, 03:29 PM   #8
Willa
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
 
Willa's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,114
Joined: Feb 2004
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 1-0
IP: 3508 3A5F

you had good emotion on this but i think you do on everything pretty much really
but i wasnt feeling it as much as your other peices you usually come better lyrically but it wasnt by any means a bad drop so props
__________________



O.Y.D.
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-05, 01:36 AM   #9
Lay-z
HAHAHAHAH!..i onno
 
Lay-z's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,582
Joined: Jun 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 5-2
IP: 1D2D 3134

this isnt really one of you best peices..

vocab was ight but could have been better
like all of your peices you have good emotion..
other than those..good drop...

please peep 16 pills..by me..
__________________

GFX Record
52-8-39KO

Send a message via AIM to Lay-z   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-05, 07:46 PM   #10
Hitchcock
 
Posts: 1,695
Joined: Jul 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-0
IP: 6D77 93CD

this was pretty good. you had some really good flow in there. and i liked the way you put your words together. some parts were kind of lacking tho it seemed like you coulda had some better wordplay in there. other than that it was a decent drop. keep doin ya thing. ...........rtf...........
links in the sig
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:59 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.