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Old 11-05-04, 07:04 AM   #1
Effect
..::shut the fuck up::..
 
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Get Off My Case

IP: 07E0 A9F2

Chorus
just get off my case
got no time 2 waste
bitch if ya front i'll put u in ya place!
im not the type of guy to be trippin
cause ya might start me flippin

yo start some shit my cd is comin soon and it's ripping
and when I flow to the beat my dudes ya gonna be shitting
my minds so complex it detects and finds blow ya mind
every word of mine shines and follows ya it'll be behind
when I rap your gonna be unhappy you lookin like dafey (Duck)
like scooby doo i'll make you scared like dat bitch dafney
every word that I rhyme has got my own purpous in this time
some mistical signs are here to show that I was born to rhyme
my soul is publically unnone but im not someone who's alone
at the moment im coping wid life and this is my own zone
and I don't need anybody else im gonna make it on my own
im just so crazy when im spittin the game im bringing u shame
and makin you loose ya fame not my fault was ya family to blame
all I need is a mic so I can get on the stage and make my sight
and when I spit I spit bright and make other people jump and fight
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Last edited by Sinner : 11-05-04 at 07:09 AM.
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Old 11-05-04, 07:23 AM   #2
Ill-Grammatix
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uhhhhh.... i think ya might wanna work on ya concepts and ya wordplay a bit... ya verse was jumping all over the place... i thought you were talking about a female in the chorus... then you start spitting about how nice you are and ya cd is coming out and ya used some pretty wack lines in there also... no hate but i really hope you were just fooling around with this verse... it was extremely elementary and youngish sounding.... again, work on ya vocab, content, focus on ya topic and make it clearer to the reader,structure was ok but it barely made any sense with some of the stuff you were talking about.... try not to jump from one topic to the next... ya shyt should lead smoothly into the next line

ok...guess i'll "get off your case" now... peace... no hate ... just elevate
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Old 11-05-04, 07:27 AM   #3
Effect
..::shut the fuck up::..
 
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IP: 07E0 A9F2

I was just bored...
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