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Old 12-09-05, 10:11 AM   #1
Po' Wit.
All these Dead Presidents
 
Posts: 657
From: Ole' Harrisburg Pa
Expressions of Lonliness.
IP:

Please dont leave,
your wanted here.
Use my sleeve,
Rid my tears.

Paint my affection,
embrace and behold.
Love is complexion,
waiting to unfold.

Truthful and pure,
Heart spilled care.
Emotion is allure,
reassuring i'm there.

Silently I scream,
dieing to know.
Sorrow it seems,
Where'd you go?

Just a really quick Poem I did. Still is deep though.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.community.rapverse.com/s...d=1#post2569090
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Last edited by Fathom This : 12-09-05 at 10:19 AM.
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Old 12-09-05, 11:12 AM   #2
Po' Wit.
All these Dead Presidents
 
Posts: 657
From: Ole' Harrisburg Pa
IP:

upping for honest feed back.... since its lacking right now
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Old 12-09-05, 03:39 PM   #3
B To The D
Nt Your Average
 
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Posts: 3,624
From: On Road !!!
IP:

Its Koo....

Imagerys Nice...

Its Deep...I Would hAve Liked it a lil longer

Flows Well

Structure IS Koo

Good Shit

I Dunno What To Say Bout Om's

I Do Audio Lol
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Old 12-09-05, 11:31 PM   #4
Lyriclesolja
I Create Dope Poetry For The Thinkers Of Tomarrow....I Am Lyriclesolja
 
Posts: 3,169
From: (210)
IP:

ok i have no idea what you trying to convey in this witch is exactly why i like it.......this is very plain to me......witch is a good thing i liked this alot.......and i will look foward to your next drop......
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Lyricalsolja you illy on the sickness tip.
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Old 12-10-05, 01:53 PM   #5
Po' Wit.
All these Dead Presidents
 
Posts: 657
From: Ole' Harrisburg Pa
IP:

Thanks much all... I actually wrote this up in like 10 minutes.... So, that explains the length. My next piece is going to be longer..... probably like 30 lines in that format.
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Old 12-10-05, 10:55 PM   #6
Po' Wit.
All these Dead Presidents
 
Posts: 657
From: Ole' Harrisburg Pa
IP:

Last time i'm bumping this.....


.....b.....
.....u.....
.....m.....
.....p......
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Old 12-11-05, 06:30 PM   #7
Po' Wit.
All these Dead Presidents
 
Posts: 657
From: Ole' Harrisburg Pa
IP:

forgot about this..........

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http://www.community.rapverse.com/s...ad.php?t=214317
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Old 12-12-05, 08:59 AM   #8
Indeph
Not_Indeph
 
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From: Chicago, IL
IP:

I liked it. The "where'd you go" line was ill.
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Old 12-12-05, 07:35 PM   #9
Po' Wit.
All these Dead Presidents
 
Posts: 657
From: Ole' Harrisburg Pa
IP:

Word thanks..... i'll stop posting in here... thanks for the feed all of you who did.
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Old 12-14-05, 07:32 PM   #10
.LeFt.
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Posts: 434
IP:

your sick wit it. lol. yea very deeper than mines. heh. ll give u credit to make a poem like that.
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Old 12-14-05, 08:52 PM   #11
Po' Wit.
All these Dead Presidents
 
Posts: 657
From: Ole' Harrisburg Pa
IP:

OMG someone left feed.

Thank you very much
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