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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-31-04, 03:52 PM
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#1
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New to RB
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naked sentiment
IP: E478 D08F
naked sentiment
- If I taint your purged dreams tonight Would you lock me out of sleep? Or eclipse the light you cast on me And let my thunder-eyes weep? - If I soiled your pure intentions Would you refine me of my deeds? Or cast yourself from yearning arms And exasperate my needs? - If I reached for clouds and broke the skies, Would you soothe my battered hands? Or punish me for my careless deed That brought darkness to the lands? - If I sketched your image on canvas Flawless as you are to me, Would you gaze at yourself through born eyes? Or question my artistry? - If I drew my heart out of my chest Would you do the same as I? To feel the way it beats together As in warm embrace we lie. Feedback would be apreciated |
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09-09-04, 10:31 AM
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#2
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New to RB
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IP: E478 D08F
no comments?cmononononononoononononononononononono
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09-11-04, 01:40 PM
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#3
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 3240 794D
this was a really nice poem, good flow too, and i really like this rhyme scheme, this is very good, it says a lot and shows your feelings, keep it up man.......1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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