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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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| View Poll Results: Who won this battle? | |||
| WICKEDCLOWN |
  
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2 | 28.57% |
| ... |
  
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5 | 71.43% |
| Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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04-24-05, 11:32 PM
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#1
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...
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WICKEDCLOWN vs ...
IP: 3147 6785
Battle Rules:
10-50 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting POETRY BATTLE!! TOPIC-MY HOME THIS IS A POETRY BATTLE DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT STRUCTURE THAT DOES NOT MATTER DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT FLOW OR THAT SOMETHING AINT RHYME VOTE ON IMAGERY,VOCAB,EMOTION ETC ETC THATS WHATS IMPORTANT EXPLAIN YOUR VOTE AS WELL WHO YOU THINK WON. Minimum posts to vote: 300 Check in by: 04-25-05 at 07:32 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
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04-24-05, 11:37 PM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: 3147 6785
... has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-24-05 11:37 PM.
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04-24-05, 11:42 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: 8BC7 013B
Wickedclown has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-24-05 11:42 PM.
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04-25-05, 08:42 PM
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#4
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IP: 3147 6785
From cloaks of midnight black tars becomes the resting place of falling stars
Reduced to crystal shards that leave falling children nicked and scarred Pavements hard admist rasict cars of blue and white lights of fire and ice Fortune through small jars behind steel bars dieing to live?........no were dieing for LIFE!! Loss of sight for the have nots those who got and have nothing for what they have So as times are bad in the Valley of Darkness we dream of the light that we once had Hungry as dark wraiths accross our minds crushing our spines strangling the surface of sane thought Women fallen like lucifers angels sell thier spirts with thier bodys as thier frames are bought Abandoned buildings like haunted houses.......inside the place of the ghettos lost souls The hauntings of our streets as well......loss has killed thier warmth and left them lost in the cold Smell of burnt flames old spilled intoxicants staining cement paths of destruction Buildings slanted collapsing like avalanches of stone and bricks steadied by cracked wooden crutches Thunder on clear days void of clouds in crowds under the suns warming beams Our Generals are O.Gs of colorfull flags with a urge to kill and destroy all opposing teams Stones on our necks dirtyed with the blood of slaves who die in the darkest holes of caverns So My Home is a cyclone.........a place spinning uncontrolled anger and violence in a endless pattern My Home Is A Ghetto...........................
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^^in other words your scared running from a battle on a site made for battling and your mod so you dont have to battle you just duck and pop shit? herb  I OWN RB YOUR NAME GOES HERE SOCRATES
EFUSIVE PAIR-A-DYCE LYRIC
VALOR
OAKLEY SDIZZLE
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04-27-05, 10:47 PM
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#5
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Only the Illist
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IP: 8BC7 013B
Going Home Lost in the bustle of the everyday hustle forgetting my roots shrouds fall over every muscle every fiber of my being lost in translation like my souls retaliation of my lifes celebration forget the situation my mind is forever lost im at the proverbial crossroads like robert frost ive paid the ultimate cost and its takin its toal it seems that ive lost my soul as a whole and its rediculous to even stop and think that at this young age ive been to lifes brink so close to the end and so far from the start every time i look back its like a long arrow to the heart to think how your gone and your face i will never see so many things our life was supposed to be they say you can come home again but not tonight not in the light of this our lives ultimate fight it fills me with fright the thoughts i now receive now i am struck dumb as my heart begins to greave as i step into this house it fills me with pain the memorys still vivid in my head yet to be slain and outside the rain poors on this sunny day because the angels weep over a life takin away so young and bright and full of love no you fly with them upon the wings of the dove and im left here to wallow in the pain of this place around every corner all i see is your beautiful face and im strickin with grace when each memory flutters im thankful for them but my heart still spits and sputters here i sit and say goodbye to my one and true stuck in this home full of rememberance of you still on topic just a little differant.  |
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04-28-05, 12:42 AM
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#6
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Only the Illist
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IP: 8BC7 013B
uppin this........................................
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04-28-05, 01:05 PM
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#7
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Only the Illist
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IP: 8BC7 013B
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^
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04-28-05, 05:02 PM
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#8
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...fuck life.
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IP: 3240 794D
Voted For: ...
sorry wicked, we still cool, lol, but ne way, im gonna have to go with ..., althgouh structure does ahve a meanign in certain poems, this piece was very nice,the imagery and emotion was intense,the ending was also good, this felt like time was put into it, and it truly came from deep, it pulled me in farther as each line passed by, good mteaphors and similes used also... wicked, yours was cool but def. could have been better...i felt like your verse was that deep, the imagery and emotion just wasnt there, yet it DID seem as though the emotion wasa attempted, i could relate to it though but you had hard competition, it seemed like the wordchoice wasnt too great on like 1 or 2 lines, i also didnt find any metaphors or similes, this was good thoguh, dont get me wrong v/... |
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04-28-05, 09:29 PM
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#9
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20/20 VisioN
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IP: 049A 2D46
Voted For: Wickedclown
This was a decent poetry battle. It was a wierd topic "my home". Both of you seemed to stray off on the topic a lil and used your own creatvity which was koo. Cali i noticed you tryed to have lots of detail which you did, but it lacked in some areas, and some parts seemed to rhyme just because.. Wicked has wayyy more multies which made it fun to read and very easy to follow. Wicked seemed to be on subject a lil more than cali did. cali seemed to stray off subject in the middle a lil. Cali had bigger vocab and wicked had better structure and his seemed more on subject. So ima have to say wicked on this one.
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da916_nigga: ima slap it right now  kidcard7692: cock-a-doodle niggaz da916_nigga: I hate whites, blacks, and mexicans...but I love my greens kidcard7692: Niggas dont eat sprinkles kidcard7692: i just fell going up the stairs |
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04-28-05, 09:45 PM
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#10
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 31E1 91F6
Voted For: Wickedclown
... structure was off...lmao..nah, I think WC took this one. I think his verse was harder hitting in the topic category. I think he worked well with the topic, and it seemed to show in his drop, because I sensed a lil feeling in it. And even though it was prolly fiction, I felt WC put more feeling into his verse. I also think he put more and better creativitie in his verse. ... had a nice verse also, but I didn't sense any real good emotion. It seemd a lil quickly done, and like he didnt care about his verse. imagination was pretty descent, but I dont think I fell into his verse like i did wit WC. maybe its because I read WC's verse first. I dunno. I was just feeling WC more in this one. vocab for both was pretty outta tha question, and I think WC came wit more sensory detail also. I'm gettin tired of typin. My vote goes to WC. I hope this is explained well. Pretty much said it all. WC got this in my vote. No hate to you guys, this battle wasnt all that. Elevate a lil more. And RTF...link in sig...honestly plz... battle against esco.... ~1~ |
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04-29-05, 12:21 AM
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#11
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I walk & walk over you
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IP: 4751 0891
Voted For: ...
Wicked- Nice emotion, man you need to step up in your imaginary. You had imaginary but it wasn't great nor weak, it was just average. Now you need to learn how to put meta'z in your verse...........In poetry "meta'z" are a big thing, believe man. Vocab was average, not great, nor weak. The only thing that was weak in this verse was imaginary, step up your game bruh. CALI- aiight man. Imaginary was good, pretty decent. Upp your vocab. The emotion was ok, still needs to elevate. Vocab was ok, using them everyday words. You also had meta'z, which was nice to add some picture into your imaginary. Overall=nice writings from both head'z. Wicked you came hard with the emotion, but weak in the imaginary, plus meta'z. Vocab wasn't that good either. Wicked you came harder with the imaginary, and you add meta'z. The emotion was ok, but still wasn't better than wicked. But thou that wicked had weak imaginary, but no meta'z. I'mma have to vote for Cali, cause he came better with the imaginary and added meta'z, to paint a perfect picture in his verse. Vote/ cali................pz
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.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
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04-29-05, 12:21 AM
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#12
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
Voted For: ...
word, this was pretty cool, dont see the poetry battles too much anymore wickedclown, i thought you lacked imagery, big time.....you had nice flow and everything, i think you spent way too much time on that, and making a perfect structure, instead of imploying the creative, imaginative aspects of poetry...it was a nice story and all, but didn't have the imagery man, sorry, but still, props to ya for writing a solid piece, cause it had good emotion, just missin out on the imagery, and i thought ... was more consistent with both those aspects ..., i was really feelin this, cool the way you described some of the stuff....didn't like the last line though, meh, but overall, this was bursting with imagery, good emotion, and lots of the shit is true man, and you described it so vividly ya hear, anyways, i thought you had the better piece....better imagery, probly even in emotion, vocab, you had better...so thats why you gettin my vote props to both though, both had enjoyable verses to read, ... was better though v/...
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-29-05, 12:27 AM
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#13
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Life is a Constant Battle
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IP: 027B 6043
Voted For: ...
Cali took this one bareily he had dope straight dope imagery that put meaning to the place he lived....wicked ya had some dope imageing and ya made yours personal so it had alot of emotion...but imagery and the ties to his hood made it very easy to picture....anallogies barily game him the edge because he came from a different view than the usual first person...but this was great read and a very dope topical battle hats off to both kats v/ ...
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B.Wall   O.G. 
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04-29-05, 12:38 AM
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#14
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Bangs like bikini attol
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IP: B422 CA9F
Voted For: ...
OK..... I was feelin clown's verse, only prob is I really couldnt see any way it tied into the subject correctly.. Basically I'ma say props for the good verse, but I think ... is gonna edge you out just cause his stayed on track the whole way through.. Its kinda a shame to, cause his did seem kinda exhadurated and over done trynna push forward imagry.. But I guess thats what poetry is.. Look good battle, close.. But yeah I'ma give this one to '...' .......... that dude.. Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
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04-29-05, 02:27 PM
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#15
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 8F56 388F
Voted For: ...
Wickedclown: I like how you approached the topic that was given but I feel you could've worked it out a bit different. The emotion was the strongest aspect of your verse due to the interpretation of the topic, imagery was good as well but I don't know how to put it. I just feel like you could've come more original, it's lacking a bit of creativity. I'm not hating here, I like your verse no doubt about that but it was sort of predictable here and there you feel me? The emotion was very strong and pure which really made me enjoy your piece. Vocab was good as well, imagery also...I could picture someone walking around in an empty home, missing his loved one. So only negative side is the creativity you know...I mean, the way you interpretated the topic isn't cliché whatsoever but the way you worked it out in detail is... John Holmes: whoa, dope piece in my opinion. Might have gone with a more obvious way to interpretate the topic but the way you worked it out was excellent. The imagery was at a high due to the words you were using, I could picture all these scenes in my mind as if I was watching a movie being played in front of my eyes! And throughout that great imagery you portrayed such a raw emotion as well. I love how you built up all these contradictions between light and dark, warmth and cold et cetera. Kept me focussed throughout the whole read due to the vivid way in which you expressed everything, had to read it few times to fully grasp the entire piece but this is top A game for sure. Vote goes to John Holmes, no hate whatsoever, just voting for the more intruiging piece! DQ
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