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08-13-07, 07:02 PM | #1 | ||||
Flyweight
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Outlaw Love
IP: C4E7 EAF1
This was a song I wrote for my acoustic guitar so bear with me...
found a young girl in my highschool years never found herself short on tears 'till she found someone her heart could beat for and so one day she thought shed come clean without soundin like a drama queen and tell the one she loved just how she felt for and her love said 'you must be crazy, you know that we're both girls' and furthermore you know im your best friend and her love said 'i may be crazy, but you're also my whole world my love for you could never find an end' so they started off a rendezvous weekend nights and afterschool studyin and makin a routine and they loved to kiss and hold each other always missin one another findin places other people never see in the eyes of the law they were ontop of their game surprize surprise the folks they dont approve when the kids at school caught word of it they started callin names except for the ones who thought it was pretty cool take my hand livin in an outlaw love you're the only one im thinkin of 'cause you're the one im holdin in my arms yeah when your love's outside the law there ain't nobody else at all they didn't mean no disrespect, didn't mean no harm they were just tryin to follow their heart like they were told at the very start i was friendly with a kid who never loved school saw right through the rhymes and rules he was every schoolgirl's secret crush so he opted for the silver screen livin' out an american dream everything that he had didn't add up to much till he ran into a little sweetheart who headed his way... he said 'you're the prettiest girl that i ever have seen' she said 'hey i think i like you and you're headed my way then again im only 17...' take my hand livin in an outlaw love you're the only one im thinkin of 'cause you're the one im holdin in my arms yeah when your love's outside the law there ain't nobody else at all they didn't mean no disrespect, didn't mean no harm they were just tryin to follow their heart like they were told at the very start knew a young girl with a ring on her finger loved her fiancee and everything that he'd bring her he was great, but never listened to a word she said and he drove her so crazy, sad and hurt started makin eyes with a guy at work and everything that he said resounded in her head when the rings came off you know the harshest words were spoke prayers were offered up to make it all allright families hung their heads and young dreams were broken lucky young lovers whispered on the telephone each night i love you too, livin in an outlaw love you're the only one im thinkin of 'cause you're the one im holdin in my arms yeah when your love's outside the law there ain't nobody else at all they didn't mean no disrespect, didn't mean no harm they were just tryin to follow their heart like they were told at the very start and if followin your heart could ever lead you astray then why so many people got so many things to say? said i...
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get attached to a rolling stone and you're libel to get crushed.. |
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08-15-07, 03:58 AM | #2 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 2998 9024
became bored quickly shit was a typical sad love story sorta drop. I just felt it lacks creativity and originality.
one a bright sid its straight from your heart..so thats real. |
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08-17-07, 08:27 PM | #3 | ||||
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IP: 9204 9119
the concept was great....even though this is a long written....some parts seemed rushed
i was friendly with a kid who never loved school saw right through the rhymes and rules he was every schoolgirl's secret crush so he opted for the silver screen livin' out an american dream everything that he had didn't add up to much till he ran into a little sweetheart who headed his way... he said 'you're the prettiest girl that i ever have seen' she said 'hey i think i like you and you're headed my way then again im only 17... ^^^^^^ this verse for instances seemed rushed to me....u ending it with "then again im only 17".....thats it ?.....could of added more to this verse..... overall i give this an 8/10....~1~ keep writing
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B.E.S.T.....HAHA |
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