Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
03-12-09, 06:40 PM | #1 | ||||||
Herb
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Dawn of the Dead
IP: 4556 7CE7
Dawn of the Dead
Here it comes for the last time; The Dawn of the Dead An Army of Darkness march, growing horns on their heads Tearing the world to pieces, roar as they fed Drop to your knees and scream; here's the Dawn of the Dead Smoke erupts in a cloud as the army arises Moans fill the air, terror lost it's disguises All eyes is, pointed at homes and residences One by one they shamble, the lost and tormented The earth's dented, people see the end and start running Shoving, cussing, picking up pipes to spark something So lock your doors, pray to whatever force you believe in Because death walks on 2 feet and his fangs are seething Here it comes for the last time; The Dawn of the Dead An Army of Darkness march, growing horns on their heads Tearing the world to pieces, roar as they fed Drop to your knees and scream; here's the Dawn of the Dead We see the cattle market, the endless shuffling Mindless cosumers, bloated, belts are suffering Head's with nothing in, moans in a low chrous The merchandise grabbers, the natural born hoarders Books have no value, theatres have low ratings Recycled materials stops a sloping brow raising Flashing images and flesh tranfixes these zombies Slack jaws and dead eyes, drain the IQ wrongly Inarticulate cries as they paw at shop glass Thinking it's top class and what have they got? Trash Advertisments burning brains cells like a hot flash The Apocolypse is coming, the living will not last These are not sedated actions of a futuristic tribe These are not some virus carriers, plagued with sadistic minds The truth is in the title, readers, take it from me Just take a look in the mirror to see a zombie Here it comes for the last time; The Dawn of the Dead An Army of Darkness march, growing horns on their heads Tearing the world to pieces, roar as they fed Drop to your knees and scream; here's the Dawn of the Dead http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249569 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249410 |
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03-13-09, 06:37 PM | #2 | |||
New to RV
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IP: 5D8A 656A
I liked this piece because you remained on topic. Your flow was on point which made it easier to understand the message. It had good wordplay, the hook was aiight. All around a decent piece, nice job.
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03-18-09, 01:43 AM | #3 | ||||||
Addicted
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IP: A0BC FE33
this drop was sick ( sucks i gotta face u in the write ur thoughts away leauge lol), good flow, multis, i can imagen this in my head the way u made sure to let the reader grasp ur thought in detail was sick u stood on topic and all around good drop....
9/10 just loved it... but felt like u could of did 3ed verse... |
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03-19-09, 12:04 AM | #4 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: E00D 8E93
not bad. i liked the hook. nice topic. stayed pretty consistent throughout. Vocab use was decent. Imagery was presented nicely, though could be more vivid. Still, an interesting read to say the least.
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03-23-09, 06:20 PM | #5 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: A1E4 9BCF
Cool subject deffenetly, I was thinking of writing similar to this.
I can really feel what your saying, because society IS turning into zombies. You set it up real well too, the hook wasn't bad either. You could deffenetly drop this as an audio somewhere, if not here. The flow was nice all the way through, and the vocabulary was very intelligent. A very good piece, HoF worthy compared to any OM's dropped recent here. I'm glad to see you around on this site, keep dropping OM's and i'll keep reading them. RTF if you ever get around to it... http://community.rapverse.com/showt...221#post3266221
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I'm Beast. |
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03-23-09, 08:20 PM | #6 | |||||
Maggot
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IP: 1356 B750
Good drop bro, and great subject to write on
I agree with mostly what your sayin and connect to how you feel, the world is changing rapidly in a negative way, but sometimes, war is inevitable. The flow was good and the chorus or hook fit well with what you were writing about, I think if you want you can make this much longer and it can be pretty dope keep on writin man, just like me, it looks like your new to RV too unless you have another account, but anyways good job my link: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249828
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Although these words, DIG, DEEP
They offer no relief... |
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