echo
penskillz
2hot2handle



Ima Demon..move fast walk over water
perform miracles....a master in the slaughter
And the art of war....dark hearted
seen too much bullshit...now my souls parted
from my body,my minds started to part with it
but i ignore it...go wid the flow and start spittin
Fuck clever rhymes....and tongue twistin
I spit hood music....just for my niggaz
We all got mad heart...and gunz wid us
Dead but we living...got me felling like a zombie
Ima bad kid...dont no body want me
Yall act like giants...the way you try stomp me
im like a ghost you cant see me.... let alone stop me
KATZ FROST colder than december
slap ya bitch ass...wot eva ya genderl
Im dirty.....sick like disease wen i spit
only thing ill about you...is the disease on ya dick
Ima run you...give you a reason to quit
I aint all that...but i'll never quit never
Im only 15....and i can only get better
im only 15...but i stay with the wetter
nigga fuck around....get opened like a letter
cause ya weak.....i'll put the berreta to ya cheek
and blast....now youll sound like Fifty wen you speak
then you wont be worth shit...cause 50 cent's cheap

tell me wot u think of the above verse plz

the beginnin was iight but the ending I could see you were losing the momentum you had near the top. Also, note that you started slowing drifting off topic...it sounded like a self-glorification piece...then you talk about being unwanted and such. Remember to say on topic. It flowed good...dat was a very good point on your verse...easy to follow...no troubles reading it. Perhaps better vocabulary would also make it better. Overall...decent drop...good job...and keep elevating.

Yeah this was alright......structure in this was alright, it could used touched up in a some spots though...try keeping your lines around the same lenght so its structure good and so it helps out the flow in your pieces....vocab in this was ok, could be up'd though....it flowed alright....and keep at it.

this was ok...flow was real slow it seemed...and ur rhymes weren't too complex....I like the content tho...can use more complex lyrics though...

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>

uppin this for more feedback

the overall content and concept of this piece was aiight, seemed sort of forced in places but decent and the vocab was quite good keep droppin...

flow needed improving, a bit slow and stop startin.quite nice vocab in there.keep it up

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Rural Thug

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=1054469#post1054469

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=1054480#post1054480

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=1054490#post1054490