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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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New to RB
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Turn Fa tha Worse
IP: CBB6 1016
As quickly as she came, she can go
left my heart without hope....Mission Impossible Broken, feelin like a patient in a hos-pit-al How is it pos-sible? It aint possible, to recovery this way! Slower than molasses...equalz...tha recovery rate Neva thought i would discover this day Didn't havta happen this way In all actual-ailty babe I'm still feelin pain even though we go back a date Like I'm stuck in this rain flooded with shame! I mean...shyt was i cursed? I guess this thang we had just took a TURN FOR THA WORSE!! and thaz real!! Gimme some feedback |
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Ms. Get Gully
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IP: 3240 794D
nice drop for it to be so short rhyme scheme was great but the content was powerful in a simple way..deep shit for love.
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New to RB
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IP: CBB6 1016
thanx fa tha feedback
ill remeber to make my poems longer next tyme |
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New to RV
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IP: F254 4043
as i said b4 that was some real shit, keep it up.
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Vendetta the K.O. King
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IP: 78D8 9CA9
Not bad. Dont worry bout lengthening or shortening your poems. poems are whatever you make them to be. That being said - I (personally, not subjectively) wasnt feel the syllable count, as of course, I am an audio head and am used to making lines equal in lenght so they flow smooth. So for me, the rhymes were hard to read fluently. I dont know if that was intentional, but i assume not, so I'd say work on that. Other than that though - multis were good, and poem was aight. 1
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New to RB
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IP: CBB6 1016
thanx phenom-in-all that was great feed back
and thanx to everyone else for their comments |
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New to RB
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IP: B1CF 693F
i like it....lot of emotion...goodjob on it....i like it short....
favor returned lol...
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I don't rap. Audio or Text. Mainly 'cus if I tried to, nothing good would come out. I just like to read other people's lyrics. I make sigs, banners, splashes, wallpapers, avatars, so if you need somethin' made, PM or IM me. If you'd like to see some of my work, go here: www.photobucket.com Then search "jumpinjahoda." Then look through it. |
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 95EB 880F
sup i'm turban i'[m not really a rapper and like experimenting with different things i have alot of good material , that is used by alot of bands in my area i liked what you wrote im me sometime inyaki73086 i will show you my better stuff , i'm more of a emo punky kid but i do listen to alot of rap so if you could help me out with this rap stuff please feel free to
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New to RB
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IP: CBB6 1016
^^^ thanx for tha feedback turban!!! it helped me alot
now i tottaly understand where my faults were ur comments couldnt have been moe useful uhh u should ask for help somewhere else kid |
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In ya area.
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IP: 39C2 8F9E
Bro, that was some real shit. I think it could've been a little longer, but you've probably considered that already. That does have potential to be turned into a rap song, holla at me if you wanna collab on that.
Honest votes only, folks. http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=139283 http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=138941 http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=138907
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If you consider 4/20 a holiday, you probably smoke more crack than weed.
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PS, no Sony. |
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Light Weight
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IP: D9D6 C694
damn kidd netha nice drop...alot of feelin put in 2 dat and some crazy multi's...dat was some real shyt there man...know how it is 2 have shyt change in a relationship...but ay dat is how life is can't change what we do...but dat had some nice simple vocab in dat...and the flow was nice 2...it was short but it was still a nice drop...keed dat shyt comin kidd peace
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New to RB
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IP: CBB6 1016
ight fa sho man...thanx fa tha feed
and to P-dizzle...im down wit a collabo just e-mail me about it HOLLA! |
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New to RB
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IP: CBB6 1016
uppin fa more feed
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