Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
10-29-05, 05:05 PM | #1 | |||||||
dope
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Insane
IP: 8CDA 7A5F
Look I don't understand why I hate my life
All i want to do is end it with this deadly knife How did I survive from all this pain and torcher I'm getting sleepless nights my brains out of order I just wanna feel happy instead of being mad but how will that happen when I wanna kill my step dad I tend to block out your lyrics cuz they ain't real so you should listen to me and you might feel Feel my emotions with a load of explosions and get caught up in all of my motion Agrivated soul in dispair in a black hole And nobody is there just taken for fool didn't make it at school cuz teachers were bitches I used 2 get picked on by these little bastard snitches Till one day I put my foot down and hit a clown smack his face up nearlly killed him when he were found chorus I'm just plain insane with a 9 pointed to my brain and aint afraid 2 pull a trigga and blow it out like cobain I think im insane im bleading an internal blood stain I have bottled up torment all I do is feel the pain |
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10-29-05, 07:17 PM | #2 | |||||
The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 28AD 5545
this was ok i think you could work on the wordplay a bit and give it some better flow but besides that it was alright,, try something with a different topic to it and throw some originality into it.
overall: 6.7/10
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion |
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11-01-05, 11:43 PM | #3 | ||||
oh yea?
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IP: 6453 2463
hmmm the lines were all pretty simple and the flow was very basic which made this a pretty boring piece, nothing really stood out and I found myself wanting more, something else. throughout the whole piece, not because this was good, but because it lacked alot.. I dont know, i feel you could have certainly thought this out more, but then again if this was a key and you just let out what was on your mind in the moment then its decent, not bad, just not really interesting.
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AIM = David Lama says
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