(my first whole song)

damn, why you gotta lie, when I'm doin right by you.
why the hell do I try, when I know that you not true.
I was just the flame to your candle,
This shit is gettin too hot to handle.
It wasnt just the relationship that you dismantled.
It was my fuckin heart, that you tore
up
why couldnt you be real from the start, now im bout to errupt.
My life is meaningless without you in it.
Now the candle to my heart will never get lit.
It's not just us, but my soul that split.
I can't believe thats all, its over just like
this?
No more late night phone calls, that was the last
kiss?
I cant even call you my girl anymore
I showed you emotions, and you slammed the door
You is a lyin bitch, straight to the core.

(Hook) 2x
Why you gotta lie (pause) to me
open up your eyes (pause) you might see
everything the way it (pause) should be
now you just dead (pause) to me

"OH WELL"

Now im finally gettin over you, and then you want to call
Actin like you still my boo, when I'm not tryin to be wit u at all.
You fucked up when you lied
Now you want to come back inside?
You shouldn't even have tried.
the answer has to be no, I can't go through this shit anymore
You turned into a hoe, and I just cant be down with a whore.
Does that shit make you cry,
Thats how it felt when u left and didnt say bye
Now I could care less if you fuckin die.
You brought this shit upon yourself, dont you wish you didnt lie.
When you left you fucked with my health, Now were even so go away and call it a tie.
Now your gone at last.
It seems like so much time has passed.
And to think, over that i got gassed.

(Hook) 2x
Why you gotta lie (pause) to me
open up your eyes (pause) you might see
everything the way it (pause) should be
now you just dead (pause) to me

"OH WELL"

Now my life is going great, haven't even thought of us.
I get laid all the time while u masturbate, and a bj a night is a must.
Now I'm livin the good life.
And you go through strife.
You thinkin bout cuttin yourself wit that knife?
Too bad the truth was never told, you just couldn't be real.
Your bullshit got real old, cuz your just a lyer, a cheater, and u steal.
Now what we had was stole.
Your out in the cold.
All because the truth was never told.
Your reality has become a comedy, because of the lack of realness
What we had is now a prodigy, and I hope that everyday you feel this.
Now me and you are the past.
In my thoughts, your the last.
Now make sure all feeling between us are trashed.

(Hook) 2x
Why you gotta lie (pause) to me
open up your eyes (pause) you might see
everything the way it (pause) should be
now you just dead (pause) to me

"OH WELL"

UPPIN for replies

...well. im not really into pieces like this personally. so theres no way i was ever going to like it. but as for you. i see a lot of talent inside of you. your rhyme scheme and certain points you made are worth reading. when i write i approach the subject from unique angles and look at different things. if you could do the same you would be great. but its your style not mine. you have what it takes to succeed my friend.

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this was good, you got you point out on all 3 verses, and i always like real life shit, i know some people are going to tell you to up the vocab but theres no need for big vocab if you get your point out

PS thanks for the reply on mine

That shit was heavy dawg. Its a great rap. People should take the time to read such a great peace instead of just flickin by. The meaning is great and you put across your point well. Well done on that rap. Fiori

This was aiight, like somebody said earlier you get your point across, and some time people get cought up in punchlines and metaphors that they miss the fuckin point completely tryin to be sweet. But you could benifit from some more pizzaz in the verse to keep in fresh. You'll pick that up if you keep at it, Keep spittin'

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