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Old 02-13-04, 01:53 AM   #1
Mr.Christensen
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I am afraid.

IP: 1F5D 58AC

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
Thus passions take a start and go farther!

I miss you, every last part of your being
I would act out for everyone if you are seeing
Where are you, I wake up alone at night
Searching the covers, alone and in fright
Dream of you as my security blanket
Cover my fears, shielding me quick
Ignorance is bliss, do I contradict
Life without you encompassing me
Dream a little dream of me...

I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
Someone asked me a question today...

What’s your biggest fear?
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Old 02-13-04, 03:22 AM   #2
BlazinBabieDoll
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Realist
Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
Thus passions take a start and go farther!

I miss you, every last part of your being
I would act out for everyone if you are seeing
Where are you, I wake up alone at night
Searching the covers, alone and in fright
Dream of you as my security blanket
Cover my fears, shielding me quick
Ignorance is bliss, do I contradict
Life without you encompassing me
Dream a little dream of me...

I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
Someone asked me a question today...

What’s your biggest fear?


You have painted a picture here or longing and lonliness. In many ways I can definitely see where you are coming from and I am sure many can identify with you. Losing someone hurts infintely worse when you truely love them. I hope you find that someone again someday.
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Old 02-13-04, 10:32 AM   #3
Edicius
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Poetry.. nice, .. ^ like stated a very good picture u potraited, here.. some lines made me think, that was very good.. vocab was very good & on point.. but what stood out here was the depth, & i believe in poetry thats the goal to reach for a writer, the deepness in a piece, and u acomplished that in this one, so very good =) i liked it man .. Props..
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Old 02-13-04, 11:06 AM   #4
Trapt Wit
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Can Def. see the emotion here..... very nice man = )
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Old 02-13-04, 12:32 PM   #5
Lord Dark
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Realist
Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
Thus passions take a start and go farther!

I miss you, every last part of your being
I would act out for everyone if you are seeing
Where are you, I wake up alone at night
Searching the covers, alone and in fright
Dream of you as my security blanket
Cover my fears, shielding me quick
Ignorance is bliss, do I contradict
Life without you encompassing me
Dream a little dream of me...

I dream of you and I don’t want to wake
Someone asked me a question today...

What’s your biggest fear?



booooooooo!
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Old 02-13-04, 01:04 PM   #6
rule
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Emotion was great I liked the way you put forth this piece very well done i think you should make another verse for it because this was good another verse or two this would make a great audio track
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Old 02-16-04, 02:05 AM   #7
Mr.Christensen
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thank you all

any ways in can improve on this?
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Old 02-16-04, 09:03 PM   #8
Ambient Light
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Strange Soda? I like it
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Old 02-16-04, 10:06 PM   #9
Tiptripp
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It's great as it is, but if you really want my attention then maybe adding a little bit more atmosphere. I see your bed, I see it is night, but why not make the night a bit more interesting? sounds, sights, smells... maybe less on the smells...
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Old 02-17-04, 07:51 AM   #10
M.Perror Ming
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This poem is very deep. I like the topic. Very good vocab and wordplay. Overall very nice peice.
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