Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
12-13-03, 06:19 PM | #1 | ||||||
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potential (first open mic drop in a looooooong while)
IP: 224F DCB8
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5295#post985295
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5305#post985305 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5310#post985310 ima write, train hard and realise my potential/ but i realise that progress is not exponential/ so i lay my goals out in a row thats sequential/ and hope to one day realise my potential/ let me desribe the process of evolution to all/ breaking your limits is sometimes like shooting a wall/ you got to focus, although the mind can be a swarm of locusts/ all moving in different directions, use your aggression/ if you want to make progression in the from of self-expression/ you need to learn life's lessons and learn to use your weapons/ see, your mic is a gun, the words out your mouth are bullets/ your got to figure out how to aim right and pull it/ in the worst way, you got to master wordplay/ the right dosedge of vocab to make the herbs spray/ from the word "play", your multi's are basic combat/ but the right combination can make em come back/ for more rawness, with or without a cordless, spit/ practise anywhere, taunt? just ignore the shit/ and your reward for it? lyrics tighten like a noose on a neck/ all you need now is a dj with some juice on the deck/ ima write, train hard and realise my potential/ but i realise that progress is not exponential/ so i lay my goals out in a row thats sequential/ and hope to one day realise my potential/ |
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12-13-03, 06:44 PM | #2 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 9C1E 2B43
This was a good piece here i thought....liked the read...The hook was pretty good....the structure of this was good overall i thought...liked the multies and internals in this....flow in this was good, it stayed on point through out the whole thing i thought...keep at it.
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12-13-03, 07:38 PM | #3 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
i agree this was a decent ewnough read....nothin wrong with the scheme n shit...felt the flow fell in places a bit....but mostly it was good..not sure on the topic....but in general nice work....pZ
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12-14-03, 08:34 AM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: CEA5 B505
rhyme scheme was dope, you had nice internals throught and the flow was smooth...bar length was good, not too long n' not too short....
Nice vocab here, refrained from using 3 letter rhyming words, you know, showed especially in the hook (which was tight)...you told a nice message here, it could've been longer but meh..l0l....nice imagry n' shit, good wordplay... 3/5 - would've given it a 4 if it'd been a bit longer, but the quality was dope....why do you not post alot of OM's anyway? |
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12-14-03, 09:21 AM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 224F DCB8
cheers for the feedback fellas, this is just a little something i keyed on the spot. i really aint dropped anything in this forum for 6 months or longer.
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12-14-03, 09:44 AM | #6 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 64C2 D7B2
great piece...nice rhyme scheme, and very dope hook...flow was there the whole piece and never fell off, structure was good...nice multis and metas...pretty good vocab.
overall - 8/10 keep em commin, nice drop can u please return the favour and check out my open mics in my sig, thanks dogg |
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12-14-03, 09:45 AM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: ABB2 EC94
this was aiight some of the shit you said seemed to have no meaning some of it was felt tho and your scheme and flow was nice..... try focusing harder on getting out what you wanna say in a verse dont jus try to keep up a good flow and shit..... but this was overall a good peice and was a very enjoyable read.... keep elevating... pz..
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12-14-03, 01:13 PM | #8 | |||||||
Banned
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IP: BD18 BFF7
i like it but the scheme good be done just a little bit better
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12-14-03, 01:19 PM | #9 | ||||||
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IP: 8244 4923
There wasn't no multis in this.. I don't think half the cats on rb know what a multi is = / .. The rhyme scheme was smooth but basic.. The content was rather boring.. No wordplay or meta's in this piece made it dull.. The science was average..
Bit dissapointing read.. |
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12-14-03, 01:25 PM | #10 | ||||||
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IP: 224F DCB8
no, YOU dont know what a multi is kiddo. its rhyming more than one sound. the "shooting a wall" line was a metaphor, the wordplay line WAS wordplay. matter of fact, why am i trying to justify this verse? it was keyed, i dont need to.
Gunna XL, read the rules to the forum, herb. cheers to everyone else who replied with feedback and yes, silk, i will return the favour since you asked nicely. |
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