I'm a try 2 come deeper after dis 1

Replied 2:

CrackaBox187 - 12 months
wogzta - The Prophecy
MD_killa - My Dad's story

"Damn nigga u fucked up! u had sumthin good..."

(Verse 1)
I was controlled by a bitch thats wat they see
you must of thought I was rich but no G's on me
mami you kept blowin up my celly cell
BS started to flow and I was in hell
this nigga thought we were gettin along well
you'd talk shit so I responded wit bitch
you're tryna get me hit you little snitch
so now you're tellin lies but I'm tellin tha truth
those pretty eyez of yours brings tears to a youth
how could a dumb azz nigga do that? that was so wrong
now I kinda want her back thats why I wrote this song
now you walked out my life like Monica you're so gone
you were probably that wifey type but you were a fuckin liar
you used me, took advatange cuz I was sweet you sparked tha fire
that crudy side of me which I never showed to tha ladiez
you got me runnin around like these niggaz who are crazy
now I'm wit a frown, cuz I lost a chick that could of been down
fuck this gossip, I'm still holdin my ground, I'm still that clown
who's 4eva lunchin from day to night
even if these niggaz say J ain't rite
mami if we ever did make luv
I'll 4eva be ya baby thug(ders nobody better)

(hook)
I fucked up and you know that
and I dont want my hoe bac
you took advantage and went dirty
just cuz ur a gurl dont mean you could hurt me
boo its that hate, luv thats in a this little G
I hate chu I luv u!

(Verse 2)
06 Bonnie & Clyde is wat we could of been
and I know you would ride wit a nigga wit sin
I'd like to give a big shoutout to my cuzin tha twin
for sicing a nigga like me wit a dymepiece like her
she broke my favorite cd, Lord I'll never fight her
tha worse thang this nigga will eva do is str8 light her
callin my cell phone your own, you comforted me when I was alone
I acted childish on somedayz and fucked up but now a nigga grown
immature is a no no, you just had me blown
you got a nigga's anger and his dark side shown
everybody sees me as ya man everybody sees you as my gurlfriend
I'm a take your hand and be like Pac and swear I'll never call you bitch again

(hook)

(Verse 3)
damn nigga, Revange wasn't worth it, tha word bitch, curse it
I'll do this work ish and get chu back even in worse shit
wish I can reverse this shit, never should of rehearsed this
got a nigga fucked up cant get at this little mamma
when I spit game its nuffin hot cuz of all tha drama
but like he said Life goes on and miss you can hate
won't let you determine my fate and its too late
this nigga is gone...I was slow cuz you added more weight
now I'm runnin away from my problems I see tha gate...
[I'm a stay ahead of everybody]-overlappin tha last line in verse 3!

(hook)

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

It was OK but I personaly thought it could be a lil better fo real.............keep it up

__________________
"The Legion" takes no prisoners!

I can be nice but dont make me mad....cause when I loose control.......your dead !!

my site:http://freestyleman.proboards25.com/index.cgi

uppin

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

a bit of a played topic...but yeah not bad...get some feeling in it....but some of ya lines could be improved.....the flow fell in places...ans the scheme could use some work......the first verse was better than the second and the third...but as a whole....average drop....keep spittin...pZ...

return the favour......
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&postid=1006866

uppin

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

Yeah this was alright i thought....your structure in this was ok, it could be touched up in a few spots though....flow was alright, but it fell off at some points in this...your vocab in this was alright i thought, could be up'd though....but overall this was a alright drop...keep at it.

uppin

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

Ayo this actully coo... ya flow wasn't really on point... it was a lil IF'y ... but it was ok... i liked the concept tho... i was feelin what you was comin from... cause at this moment... i'm goin thru this kinda situation... wit two briads... Coo piece tho

keep doin it

Caesar On3

thanx uppin

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga