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Old 12-24-03, 07:49 AM   #1
Dev
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.Transition To Greed.

IP: 07E0 A9F2

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=101035
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=100919
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=101032


Its an emotion that manifests in many ways
And plays from day to day
Many forms it takes jus spawning to horde and it craves
It enslaves captivates the bearer with tunnel vision
Lifting the average above an addiction to Ill willing
Away with free living, gone want it all
Selfish thoughts with protocol, inevitably you’re gonna fall!
Jus clouded with a translucent film n red eyed from accentuated living
Committing to never giving and shifting without resisting
The temptation to say no, dark urges taken root n started to grow
Transition process starts slow, but rapid growth like ivy tightens
Sprouting braches the grip heightens, to outsiders the look frightens
They need enlightened, we need to elope,
It’s a joke like crack heads coping, drawing crack from coke
Nympho’s needing another fuck another poke
It prays on the weak, the habit creeps and keeps until it devotes
Cos it becomes an affliction like no other
Yes, avarice, gluttony greed, its sole purpose is to smother!
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Old 12-24-03, 10:34 AM   #2
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come on ppl...aint nobody gonna drop no feed....pZ
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Old 12-24-03, 11:01 AM   #3
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Nice drop....

The flow was o.k...was off at some points but it was pretty smooth for the best part. No question that you had a complex array of vocab and wordplay here..it was played well and didn't portray it as being overused...dope..

"Transition process starts slow, but rapid growth like ivy tightens
Sprouting braches the grip heightens, to outsiders the look frightens"
- loved that line....

Good topic, related the rhymes to it well, never fell off or drifted away from it..big props for that....
3/5 nice...bit short maybe..but it was a good read.
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Old 12-24-03, 12:33 PM   #4
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thnx man....any more????....pZ
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Old 12-24-03, 12:36 PM   #5
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..Nice..like ^ said..your vocab and wordplay was right on the money..this piece could've been a better piece if you extended it and told a little more..but..hey..what do I know..nice work..
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Old 12-24-03, 06:02 PM   #6
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Yeah i agree this was good....your had good vocab like you always do...wordplay was good, liked that....your flow was alright, it could have been a bit better in some parts of the piece, but still good....ovearll this was a good piece....keep at it.
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Old 12-24-03, 06:54 PM   #7
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...this was pretty deep and I liked the rhymes...

""Transition process starts slow, but rapid growth like ivy tightens
Sprouting braches the grip heightens, to outsiders the look frightens""

...yeah, that was ill like RythmicTendicies said...

I def liked the content too, like I said, I thought it was pretty deep...

Nice drop
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Old 12-26-03, 06:03 AM   #8
Dev
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thnx peeps.....
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Old 12-26-03, 11:54 AM   #9
BaG oF SkILLz
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It enslaves captivates the bearer with tunnel vision
Lifting the average above an addiction to Ill willing
Away with free living, gone want it all
Selfish thoughts with protocol, inevitably you’re gonna fall!

Good vocab..was in transition nicely..didnt really see or could i relate to a topic but it was a decent drop overall
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Old 12-28-03, 05:45 PM   #10
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uppin for some last feeback....pZ
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Old 12-28-03, 09:22 PM   #11
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yea this was a Nice Piece Deva.....ya had Good flow most the way though it but it was stil nice man.... i know that ya don't care bout structure but i think it helps the Flow.....but ya Vocab was Nice Man I always Enjoy it......and ya Wordplay worked well with Ya Vocab.....so all and all man this was was a Good Piece Not much Wrong With it....PeacE......
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Old 12-28-03, 11:06 PM   #12
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I got to agree with the peolple here it was a nice drop
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Old 12-28-03, 11:11 PM   #13
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^ crap feedback in order to get 'it's' piece re-opend
-----------------

Solid script, pact with complex snares of witty wordplay and vocabulairy.
- the flow though, it was off at points but picked up..decent flow.
Overall pretty good, enjoyable piece.
Quotables? scroll up..
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Old 12-28-03, 11:24 PM   #14
kosha fo passova
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Good stuff. I like the imagery, I can picture it in my mind. Also, good vocabulary. It's one of the better open mic rhymes I've seen. Keep writing, you've got potential.
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Old 12-28-03, 11:35 PM   #15
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I Hate Bein All Late To Reply To Shit. . It Gets Repetitive As Fuck. . Flow Was Off Dev. . Wordplay, Nice. . Vocab Was Good. . Visualization. . You Created One. . Nice Job On That. . Like I Say Over And Over, Tryna Be Redundant. . You Kno. . Flow Is My Main Focus. . If The Shit Can't Flow When I Read It Then I Can't Really Get Into It. . I Try N Look Past It Sometimes. . I Did For This Piece, So I Was Able To See The Depth N How Good It Was. . Keep Um Droppin'

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