walkin eratic evaporatin cable of sound,poinciana ahmad jamal got me boppin in my shroud,breezin early mornin feelin,thick unique light thoughts i cloud,rain parade of trumpet tapestry,activly dimensions vivid,visons summon me as i live it,1 2 thumpin beats discret,towering towards poetry,oratory ornery light brush strokes and a story,pages blank blame air currents that adore me,gave them the finger and a blink,sidewayz pistola type and more of a wink,time nullified,instances trapped inside,short burts transmitt then fried, nebulong rings betta left unsized,piano pantheon psalm,bigger beat balm,thoughts as the sun rized,in the inside out universe..placin threads to dry,vocab you grab visualize,

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...condolences to da swollen heads, remotely decadent in paucitical recollect, peep the dialect of ressurrected dimensions wid Lexington aggression and neuro-perfection; sentence, break and beat-meridian denizen wid a sleek physique; yo, the sheiks seek this heat, could any really defeat my sleet of music sheets? the noose'll pleat the bleek, lyrical inbreeds-i fornicate only wid da means of verbal fiends, remedial can't touch my scene..i prefer lean MCs wid no bullshit to oversee & Onesoul's got what i need, tongue athletics and sediments reaching 20,000 leagues under the sea....now how will it be? leave now or dry heave- while i breathe....

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sub culture entities swarm like flocks of swollen locuses to the orange incandescant glow of coffee shop love wind dried tongues flicker madly with intuition long faces metamorphasized into bite size bon bons long sleeved hoodies with afrocentic vibes canvases getting sexually rocked with beauty outta sight! art becomes one under fading shades of sun rays these kinds of days proves to me life is still an unsolved mystery of sorcery and magical moments that only SO often get blinded by televison drama killing pure innovation of inner mind creations sentient star stations with planet to universe alien collaborations we together form a whole that can shape shift with a gift uplift without drop down permanent residence of grace glowing smiles on innocent childs face love they so often taste with no evil malignance of negative time to waste feelings of togetherness bless my soul with clever actions of good hearted movements no judgemental big brother watching my relaxed shoulders knots untied and every single mind alive coincides...
I get to rock it with onesoul and seed.. linear space capsulaters feeding my head with creativity in a dark and isolated crowded city..
peace to all on this large piece of moving paper...

replied to-Echo
Deva
Katz.frost

penskills dawg...

was this a rap or 3 long paragraphs of basically meaningless amount of vocab that was strung together to make absolutly no sense at all?...

had no structure, flow was..well not there...look at other open mics, do you see them like this...no!

Yeah work on your structure...dont put it in paragraph for because for some people it makes it harder to read and it throws off the flow, so put it line on top of line and try to keep the lines around the same length so it helps the flow out....but keep at it.