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Old 12-29-03, 05:38 PM   #1
Menik
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SS: Santa Clause Is Coming To Town

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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=101860
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102063
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=101970

Just as the sun slowly begins to rise Santa Clause awakes…
Shivering at the thought that the cold draws snow flakes…
He eventually sets up and cautiously climbs out of bed first…
Not waking Ms. Clause, He stretches and pouts his head hurts…
He makes his way out of the bedroom and down the hallway…
As he thinks that there is so much work to do this fall day…
And his bells shake making them jingle on his clothes…
He yawns and goes into the kitchen, itchen upon his nose…
Smelling the scent of cookies, so he grabs a few to eat…
He sits down at the table in his chair and chews the treat…
And takes a drink of milk to help wash the cookies down…
Then he wipes his mouth clean that has crumbs all around…
He gets up and walks over to the closet door and opens it…
Pulls out his boots then straps on his red suit and hopes it fits…
He then sits down and puts his boots on and laces them tight…
Then walks over to the door, opens it and he faces delight…
From all the white that graces his sight and smiles with glee…
He steps outside feeling against his face the cold winter breeze…
Takes a breath of fresh air and starts walking across the snow…
Hearing it crunch under his feet crushing the frost below…
Making his way over to the stable and slowly opens the door…
Walks in hearing the reindeer snore, the sounds he tries to ignore…
Then Rudolf’s nose lights up as he is startled from behind…
Santa gives a smile and Rudolf relaxes at the warmth inside…
Then Ms. Clause walks in staring at them, showing a frown…
As she sees Santa mounting Rudolf, happily going to town…
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Old 12-29-03, 09:04 PM   #2
WORD~PERFECT
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lol this was a total seperate angle then i expected from you and cam in almost flawless delivery pop this was raw with no doubt and perfect for kids to obsorb as well
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Old 12-29-03, 09:47 PM   #3
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Dang it, I had a big repley then i hit reset form lol, Darn!!

Anyways, nice verse man it was awesome, bever seen anyone make a verse about Sanata and get respect off of it lol, that wa snice man.

I once made a dedication verse to my brother called a SOldier Christmas, see my bros in the U.S.Army as the 82 Airbrone hes been in Iraq the past 8 mounths, it's been kinda rough so I made a verse to him, it was posted i the Local Newspaper, pretty big thing for me I'm only 16 and to see my work published was a pretty cool thign you knwo what i mean..
But anywayz man good verse keep it up
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Old 12-29-03, 10:38 PM   #4
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More like a poem than a keystyle, and I am missing the twists. Further too predicable rhymes and actions and no big surprises makes it a bit dull for reading. On the good note, the words fitted nicely and so did the flow, but like this rhyme here is were we all expect...‘yo’.
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Old 12-29-03, 11:15 PM   #5
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It was good. I agree it was like poem but I do it like that all the itme, so I don't think anything's wrong wit it. Everything was perfect. Good drop.
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Old 12-30-03, 01:19 PM   #6
young mike
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sum crazy shit i feel ya it was good
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Old 12-30-03, 01:29 PM   #7
Antonio Banderas
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This was a cool post.... Flow is definitely on point... U did good on this piece....


7.1/10.......
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Old 12-30-03, 07:13 PM   #8
Menik
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
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