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01-04-04, 01:23 AM | #1 | ||||
Nigga Ima OG.
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A Pen And Pad (Collabo: Viscosity & Seklusion)
IP: AB91 8AE3
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=103777
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102961 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=103769 Viscosity: Faded colors on the cover,ink off a pen smothers the inside of the notebook, text written wit meaning Deciving viewers with authrority to read-it the notebook and my heart - bleed together to finish-shit Never writin impitient, the pen and pad is innocent its the ogre, who sits over it and writes the pain he see's The way he decrees, what he believes, the God of the journal infernal fire resides in his mind and fingers of fame The unknown name is never to be spoken, cept for the firey rage that is exploadin, the journal lives on forever The master and its slave together, writing the Ether with no beats, no feats, just spoken-word,yet never to be heard The respect he has earned, the pages torn and unwanted A suspect of greatness he has learned, rages scorn yet taunten bars wit no limit of length, the writers mind and rap strength The top of the rank, where he stays King with his notebook microphone wires hangin from his pocket, vocab out of socket His brain insane, yet has meanin to be sane this is why he will remain at the top of the game, wit one pad & pen Seklusion: A cover red as blood, representing the MCs I slain To you; worthless, But it's the reason I'm sane On the surface, slowly fading in black marker is name, worth and contents Inside is the authorized version of my life, proving you couldn't outdo my worst offence The times have been tough Give me a place to write stuff and I had enough I needed an escape, the world brought thoughts of bein' distraught Rhymin' shit on the back of envelopes- lettin' stick-it notes be my piss pot I felt as though I was on top of the world, couldn't nothin' move me from this spot Here I am as a man I never asked for no one's help, and no one leant me a hand But I always had my notebook, Five Star Brand Stare at me closely, see my eyes are bland Biggest imagination, cause I'd sit alone, cold and devise far lands In the 90's, kids were still slammin' and Pearl Jammin' all the night I went home, ran words through the dome- comb as a microphone, spittin' over Rappers Delight Dreamt of places where only the fit stayed afloat, the rest sunk I gave hip-hop my heart, and it took the best chunk I care for nothing but this book, it's power is sentimental Before you overlook, realize it's my Bible, scriptures laid in pencil
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OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. Last edited by Viscosity : 01-04-04 at 01:25 AM. |
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01-04-04, 02:02 AM | #2 | ||||
Free Agent
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IP: 4C2C 8E82
This was a nice collabo....
Viscosity: Ur verse didnt seem to rhyme well.. It was cool....I think ya had the better mini multies in some places Seklusion: I think seklusion had the deeper verse. I definitly felt his verse more..... I think ya had the better wordplay....U need to work on evening out your bars somewhat... To improve, U should try to keystyle battle each to see what level of talent your at.... Both of U did an outstanding job doing this collabo...
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B.E.S.T The Comeback ||Sonny Barz! - The Middle Weight 1-2 Punchline Champion||SickHead.||Fly-E||Antonio Banderas| Mystic (Traitor) |
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01-04-04, 02:08 AM | #3 | ||||
Nigga Ima OG.
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IP: AB91 8AE3
thanks
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OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. |
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01-04-04, 02:12 AM | #4 | ||||
Word.
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IP: DD10 0DFF
Yeah this was a good collab here.....made a pretty nice read....both of you had good flow in this i thought, it fell off in some parts in both verses but it was good through out the collab....vocab from both was pretty good....your structure was alright, just watch the line lenght on some of your guys lines....you both had some alright multies...but overall this was a good collab...keep at it.
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01-04-04, 02:59 AM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 8920 92C7
Viscosity: good imagery, although the flow was off and lacking in a rhyme scheme, some original stuff in here but the rhyming vocab that linked it was basic.
Seklusion: criticism here is the same as Viscosity, except that your flow was very broken and difficult to read, you need to make your lines the same length so people dont strain their eyes trying to read them. your styles were very similar and were topics which made as a good collab. keep writing. |
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01-04-04, 03:15 AM | #6 | ||||
Nigga Ima OG.
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IP: 3A79 B1A6
upp
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OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. |
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01-04-04, 06:57 PM | #7 | ||||
Nigga Ima OG.
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IP: 27B1 49F3
upp
__________________
OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. |
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01-04-04, 08:48 PM | #8 | |||
Beef=Froze
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IP: E10F F600
THAT WAS A TIGHT COLLAB
LIKE EVERYONE ABOVE SAID U NEED TO MAKE UR LINES SIMILIAR IN LENGTH BESIDES THAT IT WAS GOOD KEEP IT UP
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G-Sus Gangsterz
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01-04-04, 09:18 PM | #9 | ||||
Nigga Ima OG.
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IP: 27B1 49F3
ur an idiot they were both 20 bars each, you didnt even read it.
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OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. |
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01-05-04, 03:08 PM | #10 | ||||
Nigga Ima OG.
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IP: 1C35 1BB2
upp
__________________
OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. |
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01-05-04, 04:52 PM | #11 | ||||
Nigga Ima OG.
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IP: 1C35 1BB2
upp
__________________
OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. |
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