replied to

rule
too easy
antonio banderas



just put my pen to the paper and seven minutes later put the pen down........



everyday when i come home from school
i jump on my bed and turn on the tube
loose myself in some funny show
fraiser, cheers, seinfeld, which one yo?
it's theonly way to go to a place where everyone knows
that your talent shows when you write about shows
i glow but i get fuckn' putdowns from hoes
and these bros want my flows
i can rip it whenever you want bro
i'll sing you a song before we hit the sack
clap for me when you get off your back
sam malone~~~
you'll never get into the sober zone
'cause Ms. Chambers left you alone
fuck the beer, lets bust out the hard liquior
and we'll get drunk and sicker and sicker
wake up in front of the make up mirror
a tear drips from your eyeball
falls down into the sink, screaming down the hall
you lean to see what all the commotion is
it's a crazy notion when he's sleeping with your woman
and it's fraiser, thought he could never get a girl
always holds back a woman when she lets her love unfurl
claims he's not gay, but in this fuckn' game anything goes
i might claim i'm a hoe
but you know that i'd do anything to make it flow
make shit up and spit up lies
just tp make unsettling rhymes
and in your stomach it sits all night
and you run to barf when the time's right
tick tock, it goes round and round
grinding myself into the ground
time to skate onto a pole where people can see me
put my headon a plate, don't you date eat me
open my eyes and i'll look freaky
black eye shadow disguise, i'll look gothicky
is that a word? i don't know
i'll make words up just to show
that i don't think too much when i write
but tonight i'm gonna bite your ear off (mike tyson)
wait i'm a chick, i don't have a dick
wiggling in my pants like i'm ignornant
your a man who's incompitant
this is my life as a fuckn' sitcom
you've heard the Irag people dropping a bomb
fuck that. entertain yourself with a CD rom
and write some shit and plat a video game
some racing game, with a barnd X name
and your in shame 'cause it ain't cool enough
fooled the hell outta me, it looked pretty ruff
guys hitting guys off bikes into the rough
your hurt, toughen up
and take off your shit, i wanna see some chest hair
and before i use nair on my legs and my bush
we can have some fun, pinch me in the toosh
turn the tv off, you've had enough
fluff up the pillow and get some sleep
and tommorrow watch me again on MTV.

that was aiight. a bit confusing but i liked it. you had some good rhymes. flow was allright but needs work and structure was good. 1 give it 7.5/10

thanks for the feedback. lets get some more uupin here.

..a little long..and boring...your wordplay was weak and your vocab to me was below average..your content was weak too..

you gotta uppin ya punches,vocab,multis,and put mettaz.it was a good flow,but if you jus put those things in youll be hottt.